Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Canuk Thumping for Fun and Profit

Suncabbage the Commie sent me a comment regarding the grandma who pulled out her own teeth with pliers.

This is the link to the original story:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005142569,00.html


Here is original posted comment:

I'm wondering why the foreign dentists were unsatisfactory, surely they at least have better anaesthetic than a pint? (Or a couple of pints) Maybe they include the alcohol in the bill and that was the breaker for her? Living, as I do, in the States--the home of everything commercial and how can we get it bigger, better and faster, by the way; and coming from Canada, born and raised among the peace-loving social medicine providers; it occurs to me that you can find that same woman (grandmother, and all) in almost any county. I pay much more for my limited coverage here than I would in Canada, but I get in a smidge faster as the lines are growing up North. No Dentistry coverage come to think of it so I guess my points off completely. You did mention something about humour though, so maybe you'll forgive me. :) J.

Monday, April 04, 2005 11:02:39 PM

Here is my quite witty, and intelligent, reply:

Thanks Suncabbage. You rock the casbah.

I should forgive because I’m a Christian.

But, I am not a great Christian.
However, I will certainly try to forgive you if you always vote Republican from now on, unless I tell you otherwise.
Please check back with me periodically.

The whole point of the grandma story was that:
A: There are not ENOUGH dentists getting paid by state-raped taxpayers in England, and
B: Foreigners suck, the foreign dentists were unsatisfactory because they are foreign, and
C: Some grandmas are TOTAL BADASSES!!! This broad could be a ninja!
So, it’s not an issue that the dentists are too expensive, or the grandma was uninsured.

Next item...

Granted you pay more here for your health coverage than you do in Canada, because

YOU ARE NOT IN CANADA!!!

That is why your income tax is in the teens instead of 50 or 60%.

Also, if by peace-loving you mean the

“We live next to the baddest mofo in the valley (the US), so we can dismantle our military and then let the US pay all the money, develop all the technology, keep watch on evil-doers 24-7, do all the wet work, take all the risks, incur all the casualties, and protect us from all evil (i.e. foriegners) while we bitch about their warmongering ways and at the same time reap all the benefits of being in proximety to them.”

definition, then I am on-board with that.
(My apologies to the 37 Canadians that actually helped us).

Oh, by the way - You’re welcome.

How come Canadians are badasses on the hockey ice thingy (field, rink, floe, cube tray, sculpture, parade?), but are peaceniks everywhere else.

Thank God that if terrorists ever challenge the North American continent to a hockey game, we can count on Canada to kick their asses.

Hey Suncabbage, can I call you Peacy McNonads?
I like that name.
It makes me laugh.
You make me laugh.
I make me laugh.
Socialists are fun and silly!
Where can I get some more of you wacky lefties?
Do you guys come in six-packs?
Will I get a better deal for a case of 24?
Do you asshats come in a keg?

Do you have any commie siblings I can torment sometime?
What about leftist cousins? How about a dirty-hippie uncle?

Do your parents know that you’re a smarmy, condescending, socialist whiner that has poor spelling and grammatical skills?

Are you as full of hate as the bitching American socialists I see all the time?

I was just saying the other day,

“You know, I haven’t pissed off a socialist for like 10 or 15 minutes (I do work in a UAW shop, you know, so socialists are readily available). Gosh, I hope I hear from one soon.”

Thank you for answering my plea, Peacy-boy.

Also, I know you won’t try to hit me because you’re a peace loving socialistic health nut.
Don’t make me crack your shell, Peacy.
You would probably crumble like a 4 year old Christmas walnut in my Chow-Chow's jaws.
(My Chow hates liberals, socialists, and commies. My dog is quite intelligent.
Fortunately, dogs cannot be sued....yet).

By the way, for your edification, Christmas is a holiday that celebrates the birth of a guy called Jesus.
He died for you, you dirty hippy.
Unfortunately, socialists and commies don’t appreciate that.
This is sad, because Jesus even loves socialist and commie asshats.
He tells me to love these asshats, too.

I am not Jesus, so I think socialists and commie asshats suck.
I am working on that. My love of commies and traitors is currently a work in process.
I am praying to Jesus to make me a more tolerant person.
I think I need to pray a lot more.

(If you happen find Jesus, you will be happy like I am, and as an added extra bonus, you get to live forever there Mr. P. McNonads. Additionally, living forever rocks!!!)

Also, you are correct, I did mention something about humor, and it is allowed from people that write comments, too. Try it some time! Your last attempt was a little lacking. I have found that high-powered beer helps sometimes.

Synopsis:

Look, Mr. Nonads...
You're in America now.

Lighten up, and have good teeth.
Buy yourself a nice gun, maybe two.
Scorn some homeless people.
Ridicule the poor.
Make fun of foreigners. (Even Canadians! You’re over here now.)
Use up a disproportionately large amount of the world’s natural resources.
Buy another gun.

These things are my birthright, but you can do them too, since you’re on our soil.
Yee-Haa! God bless the U.S. Constitution!

By the way, since you’re in America, we spell humor here sans (without) the sissy British U.
Colour your face red (but not commie red, I hope!).

Also, generally, in the US, only homos use the word smidge. Just trying to help you acclimate to the good old US of A, cowpoke.

Additionally - If you’re a French-Canadian,
or just plain French-pretending-to-be-Canadian,
all surrenders are accepted on Mondays and Wednesdays before 5PM.
If you try to surrender on Fridays, you may be bitch-slapped. (It’s Friday for Pete’s sake!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Peacy McNonads... Now that is funny.. Sorry Frenchy..
S-tay