Wednesday, April 06, 2005

More Lunch Musings Peter Jennings

Peter Jennings announced he has lung cancer:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050406/D899UDH80.html

I'm not a big fan of MSM guys, but Jennings is an icon and he and his family are in my prayers.

I used to trust him, too. So he feels like part of the family. He betrayed me, but he's still family.

Maybe he'll find God now, and start telling the truth about the world.


FLASH!

In a semi-related story, Dan Rather has uncovered documents that Jenning's cancer was caused by the Bush Administration, Haliburton, and tax cuts for the rich.

CUG Headline News reports that the the documents, given to Rather by an anonymous homeless person, contain evidence so damning that even the Democratic Underground is questioning it!

Jobless (by choice) Hippie wearing tin-foil hat:
Yeh, we knew that Bush is killing everyone he can to help his fat-cat buddies. You know their stock goes up everytime one of Bush's goons murders someone.
What do you expect from the rich.
That's why we need poor people like John Kerry and Michael Moore running the country.

(You got any weed, dude?)

The interview was cut short when a man wearing a W2 shirt ran by, laughing manically, and smacked the hippy with a large cut of meat. He was heard to say:

Feel the wrath of murdered, succulent, tasty cow you f***ing liberal tree-hugger!
This reporter, being a concerned Christian citizen, offered help immediatly:

Hey, you dirty hippy! You better get up and shag-ass outa here before the cops think you're passed-out, and beat the living hell out of you with night sticks or taser you.
(To self- That would be cool!!! Sorry, Jesus!)
Here's your hat, I think the foil might be ripped.
You better hurry, I just called them on my cell phone!

And then, still showing concern for my fellow man:

Hey, meat guy!
Now that you have that lovely cut of bovine perfection tenderized, I suggest putting it in a covered roasting pan with two inches of beef broth in the bottom and a bay leaf. Try cooking it for about two hours at 275 degrees.
Here is a couple dollars to buy some potatos. Make sure you get the big Russet ones for a chunk of steer like that.
I'll tell the cops a band of angry midget abortionsists attacked the guy because he said the J-word (eds note: that's Jesus for you commies out there).


That's the CUG. Always looking out for his fellow man.


Of course CUG Headline news will keep you apprised of this story as it develops.

Copyright CUG Headline News 2005-100,001

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

CUG,
(We all bow our heads) at the news of any who suffer cancer's fate. Rather being the commie b-word .. that he is can produce documents on almost anyone i'm sure.
"Feel the wrath of murdered, succulent, tasty cow you f***ing liberal tree-hugger!"
Now that is funny stuff !!! I almost choked on my water...
MMMmmmmm.. Cow..
Rock on Ann !
S-tay

another conservative guy said...

How do you like that slab of meat, you stupid vegetarian hippie liberal?

nomoretreehugginhippiecrap said...

When are we gonna see a pic of Ann

Anonymous said...

Ann is totally hot, and she kicks ass!!!!

Anonymous said...

That's why we need poor people like John Kerry and Michael Moore running the country.

(You got any weed, dude?)

CLASSIC!