Thanks Smike!

Bro Smike emailed this to me.
Remember kids, it's just humor!

Subject: World History 101

The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get an
to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was
invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's
how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing
animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.
This was the beginning of what is known as the "Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.
This was the beginning of the "Liberal movement."

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how
to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized
by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
fare. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood, and group therapists are liberals.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They still
provide for their women. Conservatives are hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works
productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Heh. All in fun, of course (although...).