Thursday, August 25, 2005

FREEZE HIPPY! The 17th Carnival of Comedy is Here!

Hey, kids!
Jimmyb, the CUG here.

I've been doin' a lot of killin' the last couple of days.
There's always something that needs a-killin'.
You know, grass, weeds, wasps, English ground-hornets, ground hogs, skunks, terrorists, dirty-hippies, commies...

Heh. I love the smell of teh funny in the morning...

I reckon I should see what's in the old gun cabinet today, just in case s'more killin' is a-needed.
Isn't that what they say, kill 'em with funny?

Well, one thing I don't see is a .17 HMR rifle, to commemorate the
17th Carnival of Comedy!
(Note to self, buy .17 HMR rifle today. Mrs. Jimmyb will understand.
"But it's for the Carnival, sweetums!"

I'll dig in the back here and see what I find...
Wow! Lot of cool stuff in here...

I better split these up into Full-auto rifles, pistols, and uh, cap guns.

Full-auto funny:

(Did you know you get one of these Colt M4's free when you host the Carnival?)

Blog-bro Damian G. at Conservathink presents the amazing I'm a freakin' psychic!
Also submitted Conservathink Panel Discussion: Sen. Chuck Hagel (Shameless Opportunist-NE). Language

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face uses an ACME computer to present Sheehan Leaves Crawford, Plans Protest At Wile E. Coyote's Cave.

Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God offers sage advice in Reasons to Not Get Married, Based on 100% Accurate Observations by Patriot Xeno: Part Two. Note: This is NOT sage advice if my wife is reading this! Heh. Love you, sweet-pea!

fmragtops at Fmragtops Spews does some in-depth analysis in What Your Dreams Mean Strikes Back. He even helps jimmyb (that's me!) get to the bottom of his liberal nightmare!!! He also hyperlinks me, and that means extra points!

IMAO Master-blogger Harvey at Bad Example presents A FISTFUL OF B##BIES.
I hope the link works, it's dead right now. Pretty dang funny as I recall (I go to Harvey's pretty regular!). Note: Yep, he's back (and so is Spacemonkey!). Mild Language (esp in comments).

Mr. Right at The Right Place gives quite a Pythonesque presentation called George W. Bush and the Holy Grail.

a4g at Point Five presents First Horrifying Images From Al Qaeda Media Jihad.
Chilling...horrifying...words can't describe...

Swashbuckler Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate presents Fake News Item: Beating Up on Kennedy Some More. You can't go wrong with Kennedy jokes. Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I am also a contributor there; YOU GO THERE NOW! NOW!!!

Senator Walters at The Stall Street Journal presents The Secret of the Smiling Burger.
Dining will never be the same for you...

Elisson at Blog d'Elisson presents Ask Mr. Debonair. An odd assortment of information. How does he come by this knowledge? Mild language.

The "I'll bust a cap in yo commie behind wit my gat!" section.
(Not as high powered, but sweet!) :

("My birthday-present! It came to me on my birthday, my precious."... I hope! If you would like to donate a tricked-out Smith and Wesson 945 to the CUG, please email me!)

Newcomer Remulax MoxArgon at The MoxArgon Group presents EPISODE #2: THE MOONBAT QUESTION. Can you say potential, kids? Also submitted Episode #3: Preachers, Assassins, & Dictators, Oh my...

dr.dna at teh voodoo lounge presents the interesting Combining multiple genres: an experiment in the art of storytelling (I think the title is as long as the post!)
Maybe this is full-auto, and just over my head. MILD LANGUAGE

Vox Poplar at Vox Poplar Is right About Everything & Don't You Forget It! presents It's All Very Simple Really, a special guest commentary by Noam Chomsky I don't know if it has bad language because I can't understand the words! (Bring dictionary!) Also submitted, "What we have here is a failure to communicate..."

Janet at The Art of Getting By has tips for teachers (yay! that's me!) and shoppers in (Diamonds) Dollar Stores Are A Girl's (Teacher's) Best Friends.

Mr. Satire at presents Pink Revolution Complements God's Rainbow Palette By Giving Muslim Sodomites Quranic Right to Marry. Caution: Minor language, some pics NSFW.

Tommy at Striving For Average clarifies the Puffy mystery with I Gotta P.

David at third world county presents Who knew ya could milk penguins?!?
Uh, I didn't. (Of course, I thought that was relegated to mammals...)

Fitch at Radioactive Liberty reminds me why I listen to Slipknot (NOT!!) in Slipknot Sues.
Sorry, I'm just a Maiden fan from way back!

bob at either orr is funny and loquacious in Saddam gets life (or, The Days of Our Lives)

The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents M11: Episode 3-1/2-- The Sacred Heart of Darkness. Action, Adventure, War and Peace.

Pete at The Daily Cause performs a concise mini-fisking in Hagel's Logic.

Hatcher at Ideas Hatched presents the ever-so-aptly titled The Masochism of Golf.

Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God gives us the cute but theologically questionable Well, It Obviously Isn't Humor.

Cap pistols, but still cool:

They don't make 'em like this anymore! Well, except for these:

Paul seems a little angry at soapgun, while he presents Jumping Jack A##. Tell us what you really think, Paul!! (I agree with you, BTW!)

Ironman at Political Calculations does a nice little fisking on some Warning Labels.

Miriam at miriam's ideas exhibits subtle humor in Vicious George takes a vacation.

Don Surber at Don Surber compares and contrasts in The Dukes vs. The Clampetts. LANGUAGE

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality presents The CAIOS of LOL. Language.
It will make you LOL, or something.

Cindy Swanson at Notes in the Key of Life pimps many people and places in I'm in love with Taylor, the Latte Boy. Interestingly, she reviews a Christian singer (cool!), pimps coffee and restaurants (among other things), bemoans the death of the inventor of the synthesizer (Mr. Moog) and recently had her 27th wedding anniversary (Congrats Cindy!! :) )
However, THIS POST ISN'T FUNNY!!!! No offense. Wrong Carnival, maybe?

I just don't know what to say about Mondo at Mondo Blog presenting Mondo goes to the Gym.
Really. I just don't...
No, really.

Bill C at Brain Droppings presents (with apologies to Roger Waters) Tear down The Wall.

Mark A. Rayner at The Skwib ridicules intelligent design in New sect of Pastafarians believe it is Vikings, not pirates, that cause global warming. CUG reports, you decide.

And now for the LEGAL STUFF I have to do to avoid being bitten by a Spacemonkey and contracting uhhh... some sort of disease or something you can get from being bitten by a Spacemonkey (he was much more mellow before he lost his sunglasses!) :

The Carnival of Comedy will continue at the following sites on the dates shown (stolen from IMAO's Carnival notice from August 24):

Carnival Scheduled Stops:
Week 18 - Sep. 1 - Doc Rampage Don't let the 'rampage' stuff fool you, Doc's heart is as big as the mondo graphic dominating his blog.
Week 19 - Sep. 8 - Rapid Politics Rapid sounds good to me, this intralectoral time period is making me antsy.
Week 20 - Sep. 15 - Either, Orr Neither, nor, have, has, had, do. did. done,
Week 21 - Sep. 22 - Instapundit
Week 22 - Sep. 29 - Nobody yet

Send your mindless yammering re: hosting the Carnival of Comedy to flyingspacemonkey-at-gmail-dot-com. (substitute the appropriate nonsense, y'know the 'at' and the 'dot')

Also, here is the secret Carnival code.
You want to know what it means?


Contained within the secret:
A contemplative badger.
A dirty-hippy communist monkey named Cindy S.
The winner of MTV's Pimp My Cow contest.

Addtional info is available at the IMAO Carnival page, last updated when Jesus was in middle-school.

Stop by my blogparents house - IMAO. (Caution: Coffee spewing is a common side-effect.)
Note: I'm throwing a HUGE party there when FrankJ goes on vacation!

And of course, no carnival would be complete without pimping the IMAO podcast.
IMAO has teh funny in major abundance in the podcast! Check them out!
And remember kids, you don't need a gay iPod to listen to it! Yay!

Please keep in mind, this is my FIRST! hosting of, well.., anything, so be gentle with me.

And to Sticky B, IMAO comment section commentor, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST!!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who's the d*** now?!?!?!?!?!

Lastly, the gratuitous Bush twins picture, showing them laughing maniacally at my skillful, clever and flawless comedic Carnival presentation:

Sorry girls, I'm taken.

(Do I have enough IMAO hyperlinks?)


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