Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I Knew It!

*Exclusive* CUG Headline News *Exclusive*

DU (Democratic Underground) and Daily KOS have proof hurricane Katrina was created by Karl Rove and the Bush administration.

Known as the Bourbon Street Memo, it shows how Rove and the BusHitler used the double-super-top-secret government weather machine at the Pentagon to create the massive hurricane to draw attention away from Cindy Shrillhan, the Robert's confirmation hearings, and artificially high Haliburton influenced gas prices.

CUG Headline news interviewed a dirty-hippy for confirmation of this astounding conspiracy:

DUmbass:
Yeah, man. The Rovebots are using the weather machine to make this hurricane to get that racist slave-owner Roberts onto the Supreme Court, man! It's all in the Bourbon Street Memo!
They're disrespecting Cindy, too! Her son died. That gives her special rights to act like a jerk, just like John Kerry does. He was in Viet Nam, man. He's a hero. All the other Nammers are baby killers, though.


CUG:
Uh, ok. So, you greasy toad, let me set a couple of things straight...
One: There is no such thing as a weather machine.
Two: Roberts is not a slave owner. (But is does make a good sound-byte for asshats).
Three: Cindy disrespects herself and her son.
Four: What! John Kerry was in Viet Nam? Dang it!
I would have voted for him if I knew that at the time! He was there for like 3 whole months!


KOSwipe:
Totally, dude!
Him and his old lady were for the little guy! I saw it on a sign on their limo one time.
The RepugniKKKans aren't killing enough people and puppies with their illegal war for oily jooooooos, so they made this hurricane.
They get energy from death, man! It's like totally bad karma.
What else did you say?


CUG:
I said I'll give you some free skunk-bud after the interview.


iDUiot:
Woah! Sweet!


CUG:
So remember, elections are always on Wednsdays, and if you're dead, you can only vote Republican.

KOSsack:
Whoa! You got it, dude!
So can I have that bud now?

CUG:
Sure. Oh, Officer! This guy here has some bud...


Dirty-hippy:
Not the taser! OW! OWWWW!! OWWWWWWWWWW!!!

*bbzzzzzzzzzzzz-crackle-zap*

CUG:
Heh. Stoopid hippies.
Huh. I smell filth burning from somewhere... Oh, well.


So there you have it, folks.
Almost as much proof as Dan Rather and Michael Moore provide for...
well...
anything, I guess...

Copyright CUG Headline News 2005 or so.

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