Friday, August 12, 2005

Woo-Hoo!! CUG Rockin' for Long Time to Come!!!


Short story.
My finger-tips on my left hand feel like they are asleep sometimes. Left arm/hand = bad.

So, I went to make sure my heart wasn't going to explode out of my chest.
I have an engineering and technical background, but I'm pretty sure your heart exploding out of your chest is bad.
(Update: Yes it is bad; confirmed by wifey-nurse and doctor.)

So I got the physical and EKG, and asked about blood-work. I'm ancient (that means over 35), so I figured it's time to get that junk checked. (Per Doctor - Numbness may be carpal tunnel. I don't hardly ever eat fresh fish, though!!!)

Also, in my normal characteristic truthfulness (hey, I'm a conservative ya know!), I told the doctor that I might imbibe in alcoholic beverages more so than perhaps the average non-blogger or non-technical person.
(I know how you bloggers and techies are; I look like a freakin' tea-totaler compared to you!)

So, he said we would check my liver enzymes(?) or whatever, just cause I'm an old lush.
I've put enzymes in my septic tank... any relation?

Good news! My body, as I have always known, is an unstoppable machine for destroying evil alcohol!!! Yay!
Therefore, I am still committed to ridding the planet of this foul substance one can/bottle/flagon/jug/urn/goblet/flute
/schooner/tumbler/flask/keg/glass/shot glass
/coffee cup/shoe/palmful at a time.
I know, it seems like impossible odds, but I'm thinking about the children.
And puppies.
And, of course, my superior conservative liver is keeping up fantastically.

Bad news. My cholesterol is a "little" high. Repeat, a "little". No drugs required!
As much cow, steer, pig, deer, chicken, egg, and bacon (yeah, I know I said pig, but I LOVE bacon) as I eat, I figure I can cut down and be back in happy number land in no time.
They didn't say anything about my weight either, confirming my suspision that I just have a generous and comforting protective layer. That layer is payed for, by the way.

(*sigh* I can eat a pound, before cooking, of bacon in a setting... Mayhap those days are over. Bummer.)

But overall, as Cartman says, KICK-ASS!

This means I will be here to aggravate the (lefty) masses for a long time to come!
Especially Toad and Elroy (Damian's troll).

Unless I get blown up by a splodey-tard or something.


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