Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Impaling As Domestic Policy.

Fmragtops had an interesting post recently.
Here is a small excerpt of the whole post:
We just don't impale enough people these days.
I'd like to celebrate the lost art of impaling, while passing out more linky love.
Both regular readers of this blog instantly see why this appealed to the humble (*snort*) author of this site:

Medievally smiting people old-school style, and link whoring!!! Two of my favorite things! Yay!

Let's face it. Impaling is a lost art. Additionally, there seems to be a direct correlation to the decreasing frequency of impaling, and the increase in rampant and rabid liberalism, terrorist attacks and reality-television series.

Coincidence? I think not.

Because this is America, we should do things bigger and better.
In honor of that, I propose the first US of A Conservatives' Mass-Impaling Party, hosted by Fox News. Woo-hoo! Impale-Orama '06 (the theocracy will be here soon)!

(Click on pic for a better view. Oh, yes; eat your heart out FrankJ!)
In the coming US theocracy, which will be ruled with iron fists by FrankJ, jimmyb, Steve the Pirate, FMRagtops, Grim and Xeno, we shall have mass impalings that will rival impalings anywhere in the world (in size and scope)!
These impaling will be held for various reasons, including as punishment, and for my amusement.

Because we are the US, we will have to make sure not only that it is the biggest and baddest, it will also have to be done properly from an engineering standpoint, as well as making sure that "rules" of diversity are followed.

Note that we use the really fat, sweaty, smelly, commiefied libs for an anchor.
This solidifies the base of the pike. And speaking of bases, these 4 tards are, coincidentally, 50% of the Democrtatic Party's base by weight and volume.
This is sound mechanical engineering. I saw something like it on MacGyver once.

Additionally, we have the added benefit of the top-layer impalees having to smell the stench of hate, BO and hypocrisy wafting up towards and over them, as they writhe on their journey to a well-deserved, albeit too quick, exit (strategy).

From a diversity standpoint, note the gender and color mix. I even have a Republican (admittedly a RINO) in the mix. Mondo-diversity!
Terrorists get their own pike, as the libs would sing Kumbaya and try to help them if they were on the same one.

Also, the pike will be union made of American steel, as part of The Conservative UAW Guy's outreach, domestic production, and smiting programs.

Let's face it, kids. Impaling is a great tool to bring the country back to its senses.
Now of course, some will whine, "Impaling isn't a deterrent".
To which I counter, paraphrasing Ann Coulter, that it will at least deter the impaled.

I guess the bottom line is: Ask not whom your country can impale for you, but who can you impale for your country.

And thanks to Fmragtops for the inspiration, and the linky-love! :)
Linked to Linky Love, The Impaler.

Disclaimer: I would never really impale anyone in real-life (unless they pissed me off).

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