Wednesday, December 28, 2005

You've Got Swag!

Update: For sharp readers, yes there is a relationship between the cut-out styrofoam gun at the bottom of this post, and the bandaid on my middle finger. Stoopid knifes!)

A sure sign you have had a good Christmas...
When someone gets you some Dr. Phat Tony swag for Christmas!!!

Woo-hoo! (Note my simplistic and child-like glee.)

You didn't get any Dr. Phat Tony swag?
DAAANNNGGGGGG!!! Go get some then. Geeez!

Click here for Dr. Phat Tony's SWAG OF THE CENTURY!!!!
It will make you look cool.

Also, it appears that when somebody buys you DPT swag, you get firearms and firearms accessories!
Why yes, that is a stainless steel Smith and Wesson model 686 .357 Magnum revolver with adjustable sights, Pachmayr grips and a 4 inch barrel. Why do you ask?

Now, I only have anecdotal info on this, but it does appear to be true here.
So order some DPT swag today, and watch the gun pR0n roll in!
(More Christmas gun pR0n forthcoming...)

Also, DPT swag has been shown to increase size (ya know), cure halitosis, increase IQ, and knock off 6 months of the waiting time for surgery if you're a Canadian!!! WOW!!!

But wait, there's more:

Swag is environmentally friendly. Strangle a hippie with one of these shirts and see!
No fumes, just the original hippie-stench. (You may need a new shirt after that.)
You'll save lead AND gunpowder!

Captain Kangaroo did NOT by DPT swag. Now look where he is.

John Edwards did NOT by DPT swag; he's gay.
(Okay, he'd be gay anyway. Bad example.)

DPT swag has been shown to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and increase ozone to fill the hole in the ozone that you never hear about anymore.

If you don't buy DPT swag, this (below) might be the only firearm you get!
And that would be sad. (Heh. Wait till you see what I cut that out for!!! Woo-hoo, indeed!)

Disclaimer: This information has been collected, collated and sifted through with the same care and dedication to truth and facts that liberals use to promote global warming, the war on poverty, and gun control schemes.
So all of this must be true!

Take that for what it's worth....


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