Thursday, March 31, 2005

Guns

God wants us to have guns.
That is why they are cool and we have them.


Bad people have guns, too.
We need to kill them.


God understands killing in self-defense, even if it is pre-emptive.
Sometimes that is the only chance you get.

Leteth he who is a dangerous asshatus be killed with a Smith-and-Wesson-ess firearm (or a cruise missile) America Rocks 21:12.

Let he who is righteous, launch the first cruise missile. (That would be US, get it?) Pre-Emptius 9:11


Killing bad people is good.
Killing retarded people is bad (unless they are killers).


I did clear this info with God; He said I was right on the money.
At least that's what I think he said. I was a tad inebriated at the time.

Seriously

I'm really bummed about Terri Schiavo. A lady I never knew.
People die all the time; get murdered all the time for that matter.
But this is state sanctioned murder. And she wasn't even a fetus.
What the hell is this world coming to?
I like this quote. Maybe Mikey S. should read this one.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. [Ephesians 5:25].


Please pray for Terri and her family.


Please pray for the pro-death people on the other side, too.
That is hard, especially when what they really need is to be bitch-slapped.
But it is the right thing to do. Maybe they will repent or spontaneously burst into flame or something.

There is a reason for everything. Even when evil is the most apparent force.
Even when we can't see it or understand it.
Even when it's murder.
I feel dirty.

God help us (and bless us) all.

Mikey

Satan is walking down the hospital hallway with Hitler.
At the other end of the hall, Michael Schiavo comes around the corner.
Satan grabs Hitler and ducks into a doorway.
When Mikey goes by, Hitler says,
"Hey, what was that all about?"


Satan replies,
"I don't know, that guy just freaking creeps me out!"


_

Dear Jesus:

Dear Jesus,

Please do not smite our country down because a few judges and a husband murdered an innocent, helpless, disabled, voiceless woman that was loved dearly by her parents and family (blood relatives, that is).

It's really not as bad as it sounds.

Oh crap, yes it is!!!

Wait, I have a note:

Please excuse The Conservative UAW Guy from any smiting due to the murder of Terri Schiavo.
He loves life, babies, puppies, his wife, his family and Jesus. He is trying very hard to love hippies, commies, and whiny libs (it is hard as you know).
He doesn't tithe, but he is really, really, thinking about it. (Really!)

Sincerely,


The Conservative UAW Guy's Mom



Plus, I was at work and I have witnesses (that I was at work, not neccessarily working).

Uh, Amen.

More Lunch Musings (Edification Addenum).

Here is an addenum to the edification section from yesterday:

If you don't agree with me 100% on absolutely everything, this does not necessarily make you an asshat.

However, it increases your odds exponentially!! (For you a-h's, that's a lot).

Vote for me for Supreme Imperial Dictator of the Universe (I just found out that I wasn't already)!!!

Just a little food for thought...

Terri Shiavo V

She's gone.
Bless her soul.

I'm sad.

No funny here.

"...for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink" __ Matthew 25:42


Hamlet: Murder!
Ghost: Murder most foul, as in the best it is;
But this most foul, strange, and unnatural. - Shakespeare

Terri Shaivo IV

Terri's 13th day.
No food or water.
Sick...

Doesn't the fact that she has survived this long kind of prove that she has the will/wants to live?

Her and her family are in my prayers, and I hope in your prayers as well.

This is shameful. What are we, Europeans?

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

For Your Edification

This is actually an interesting site.
And the asshat moniker must be explained as well.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asshat

Unfortunately, they do not give good examples in a sentence.

Allow me.

"I have guns to protect women, children, disabled people, people with feeding tubes, puppies, kittens, and cute little bunnies from commies, libs, dictators, murderers and felons. My guns have never killed anyone, and never will (except the deserving)."

"And you to take them away from me?"

"You're an asshat."


Or, try this one for fun:

"Only an asshat would raise my taxes to give it to abortionsists and people that don't want to work.


Or, how about this one:

You voted for Ted Kennedy. What an asshat you are!


I also kind of like this one:

"I have dual .45 (and .40) caliber S+W and Glock and Colt pistols at hand, and my wife can shoot out a worm's eye at 175 yards with a 1.25 inch barrel .38 Special, and my daughter has her own stainless-steel, 4-inch heavy barrel (w/adjustable sights) .357 Magnum (her 12th birthday present), and you break into my house?

I reckon that makes you a dead asshat.


And a little fancier:

Michael Shiavo exhibits asshattic behavior.


And my favorite:

The Democratic Party's embrace of M. Moore, Soros, Bab's and Jimmy Carter, et al, is a clear indication of the asshattification of the party's base. Real Democrats (like the ones I know) think those people suck (i.e. Moore and Co. are asshats).

That is your English lesson for the day!

Try out your expanded vocabulary on the next butt-nugget you see!!
If they complain, tell them they are intolerant and should get some diversity training. This freaks liberals out.
If they still complain, they may need bitch-slapped (don't worry, liberals don't have guns... or so they say...)
And fear not, the 11th Circuit court, the 9th Circus court, and the Supremes have decided that death is in (remember All That Jazz?), and bitch-slapping is a protected form of speech.

Death Sentence Upheld!! or T-III

The 11th Circuit Court in Atlanta has upheld the death-sentence of one Terri Shiavo.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050330/D895GV7G0.html

The evil Terri is guilty of:

Being retarded.

Being a burden.

Looking like a completely innocent human-being that is about to be killed.

Neglecting to fill out the proper paperwork and forms (damn! that's harsh...) AND...

Marrying a DICK!

Nancy Pelosi, looking a tad starved herself, did not say -
Well, that's what you get. We will not be beholden to retards, gun owners (i.e. retards), fetuses, Christians and Republicans. Their eradication will make global warming go away and little kittens will be happy.
I'LL GET YOU GEORGE W, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!!!!!


Amen, sister! I mean, darn tootin (sorry for the religious reference!).

Don't worry folks. We can all sleep soundly tonight. No Terris lurking in the shadows to get you.

In an unrelated story, liberals went to protest the execution of murderers and child rapists.
"Hey, those killers had a rough childhood!"

"They should be let out."

"And those damn kids should have been aborted anyway, they're using natural resources that should be given to murderous foreign dictators and countries that can't succeed on their own."


(Ahh...that is tolerance and diversity I smell!)

Nighty-night!

Another UAW PR Coup

In another brilliant PR strategy, the UAW kicks Marines w/foriegn nameplate cars and (gasp) Bush-Cheney bumper stickers out of their parking lot. See here:

http://www.detnews.com/2005/autosinsider/0503/13/C01-115531.htm


Yippee-yahoo! Another blow against THE MAN that is keeping us down! Damn rich Marines and their yachts and mansions and private jets (really cool jets, though)! They're sticking it to the working man, again
(Disclaimer: Please duly note heavy sarcasm, just in case you're an asshat and couldn't tell).

Survey by Detroit CyberSurvey results say:

http://info.detnews.com/autostalk/lettersindex.cfm?topic=UAW_reputation&forum=autostalk


91.01% of people who took the survey think that sucks (duh).

8.99% of people who took the survey are rectal nuggets who wear tinfoil hats.

(That equals 100%)!!

Maybe the UAW can run over a basket of puppies with a steam-roller in the same parking lot for an encore. We'll get to 99.5% to 0.5% yet!! (The 0.5 percent will still be nuggets).

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Lunch Musings

Jesse Jackson wants to save Terri Shiavo!

Wow.

http://www.cnsnews.com//ViewCulture.asp?Page=\Culture\archive\200503\CUL20050329b.html

Good for Jesse Jackson! (Did I just say that?)

Wow, indeed.

God is happy about this one!!

What the hell..!!! (or T. Shiavo II)

It's been 12 days.
This is sick.
Michael should do the humane thing now and put a bullet in her head.
Same end result, much quicker.

Alternate endings:
A long car ride on a short pier with Ted Kennedy.

Cover with gravy and set in front of Michael Moore.

Put Vince Foster mask on her and wheel her over to Bill and Hillary.

Put a Bush-Cheney sign in her hand and drop off at pretty much any major university.

Roll her up in a big Zig-Zag rolling-paper (maybe a Job 1.5) and set in front of hippies.

Sorry, but this is BS.

Please frag anyone that tries to remove my feeding tube
(Christopher Reeves couldn't feed himself either, ya know).

Pray for all involved (even the asshats).

Fantastically Refurbished Description (up top}!!

Tried to redesign offensive descriptive statement.
(Sorry you dirty commies, you didn't make the cut; you still piss me off).

I guess I shouldn't hate. Why is Christianity so hard?!?! (Because it's worth it!)
Love the liberal, hate the liberalism!

I still hate commies, though, but I'm working on it.

Liberalism is evil.
It is responsible for many deaths of innocents, both pre- and post-birth, as well as disease and poverty.
More on this later.

To my friends that complained - you ain't no real liberals, you're wanna be liberals!
And, I love ya to death (death in a good way, of course).

Peace, unless something else is required.

Monday, March 28, 2005

This was a bad one for the UAW

Yay! Free abortions for autoworkers (note heavy sarcasm).

Copy and paste this link in your browser:

http://www.freep.com/money/autonews/abort25_20030925.htm

It made me sad.

And pissed.

And a little queasy...

At least it got pulled...this time.

Tsunami on the way?

Perhaps. Quake was the real deal.
Pray for people.
BTW - A late thank you to Jesus for dying on the cross for us. Happy late Easter!

Terri Shiavo

What a gut-wrenching story.
I don't even know what to say.
However, can't we give her water so she just starves to death?
Dehydration is a nasty way to go.
Shouldn't we as a society err on the side of life, not death?
Why can the govener of a state spare a murderous child molestor if he wants, but not a brain-damage woman who never hurt anyone?
Something seems goofy there.
I pray for her and her family. (Not too hip on the hubby though.

(Note to self - boobytrap my feeding tube just in case.)

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Effing Groundhogs

Groundhogs suck.
Oh sure, they look cute in pictures.
Kind of like little bears.

In reality, they suck.
They dig holes in your property (barn, basement, shed, whatever), and refuse to relenquish property.

I tried two approaches:

1. The John Kerry/Democratic approach - Please leave Mister Groundhog, as you are causing me harm and damage. I will consider sanctions if you shant depart. (this DID NOT WORK).

2. The GW Bush approach - Where I tell them, "Leave, or I will kill you", (and then kill them).

Approach number two actually worked.
Killing them is fun and effective.
I suggest a live trap, lettuce (they love that) and then a 22 long-rifle shell to the cranium.

Reasoning with them did not work worth a slap in the ass.

There are parellells between groundhogs and terrorists. Groundhogs aren't as stinky, though. Also, a groundhog won't kill you for not worshipping other groundhogs.

Were you aware...

That US UAW members get Easter Monday off because it is a Canadian holiday?
Wow!
Do you have Monday off after Easter?
If you do, you are either a Canadian or you work for one of the Big 3 Automakers!
For every autoworker that is off for Easter Monday, an angel cries.
Being in a union rocks!

Welcome to The Conservative UAW Guy Blog

Wow! My very own blog.

No idea if this will fly.

But conservative union members need a voice.

I am a fairly (very? massively? somewhat?) conservative UAW worker. This is not a typo, or an oxymoron.

I am:


Heterosexual (i.e. not gay)

Caucasian

Christian


Pro-Jesus
Pro-Life
Pro-Marriage (I’m EXTREMELY married, and happily :) ).
Pro-Children
Pro-Animals (they’re so tasty!!)
Pro-Rush Limbaugh
Pro-Sean Hannity
Pro-Family
Pro-Gun (Who isn’t? Oh yeah, hippies and lefties.).
Pro-Freedom (i.e. Pro-gun, I love guns… they’re so cool!!!).
Pro-Republican (mostly).
Pro-Ann Coulter
Pro-Law enforcement (usually-as long as they're pro-freedom and pro-gun for citizens).
Pro-FrankJ (although I can’t worship him due to the Christianity thing and all).
Pro-Preemptive Striking
Pro-Gun (I really like guns).
Pro-Beer/wine/fine liquor
Pro-parenthesis (ya-think?)
Pro-Freedom (i.e. Pro-gun)
Anti-Dirty Hippy (with regards to FrankJ at IMAO)
Anti-anti-family
Anti-Liberal
Anti-French
Anti-UN
Anti-EU
Anti Ted Rall effing big-time
Anti-Commie
Anti-Socialist (with apologies to the UAW)
Anti-pro gun control (I like guns, did I mention that?).
Anti-tree-hugger (trees suck, my grandfather was killed by a tree).
Anti-ninja/monkey/squirrel (thanks frankj for two out of three).
Anti-tree-hugging-whiny-sissy-liberal-peacenik-lameass-antigun-prodeath-DemocRat


Lame at HTML

I am pissed off (sorry for the cuss words) about liberals, liberalism, and dirty-commie-socialist hippies.
Discuss...