Jack discovers the mole has been exchanging information with known traitors and terrorist-coddling, leftist tree-huggers.
Using a fundraiser raising money for out-of-work terrorist, Jack rounds up Moore, Kennedy, Murtha, Reid, Pelosi, and several others.
Once at the fundraiser, he lures them to a warehouse with a hippy whistle.
A hippy whistle is like a deer whistle or duck call, but it makes a sound like
"Help, I'm being oppressed by evil conservatives, and I need a late term abortion and some more welfare!!!"or
"Aaaagghhh! Someone's driving an SUV and they're not rich actors or politicians!"
Jack then subsequently tortures them by saying a prayer to Jesus and shoving Ronald Reagan pictures in their faces ("THIS IS A REAL PRESIDENT, YOU F***ING TRAITOROUS COMMIES!!! YOU PROBABLY LIKE SINKING LOGIC CONTROLS, TOO!!!).
Of course, the spineless leftists immediately spill their guts (and not a small amount of urine, either) and tell Jack everything.
Once Jack has the information, he
He is aquitted one week later by a jury of
But wait! Where's Al Gore?!?!?
Beep-boop, beep-boop, beep-boop...
Crossposted on Blogs 4 Bauer.