Monday, February 20, 2006

How to Spot Terrorist Organizations

I was watching Toledo news last night, and there was a story about a charity (we'll see) called Kind Hearts in Toledo being shut down by the Feds for supporting terrorist organizations.

So, if you are wondering if you have an organization that may be supporting terrorism in your neighborhood, the CUG Headline News staff has amassed the
TOP 10 INDICATORS YOUR CHARITY ORGANIZATION MAY BE FUNDING TERRORISTS:

10. Their sign on the front is painted with "the blood of infidels".

9. The help-wanted sign in the window says "Jooooos need not apply!".

8. There are specially marked parking spots for the CEO, the handicapped, economy cars, and car bombs.

7. Headless bodies of unbelievers in the dumpster out back.

6. Large crates labeled "HATE", "MISOGYNY", and "INTOLERANCE" are delivered and carried into the building at all hours of the day and night.

5. Cancelled checks from the organization are written to Hamas, and say

"to topple the great Satan and kill all infidels and Joooos in the name of Allah (peace be upon him) and the religion of peace"

in the For (memo) part at the bottom of the check.

4. A poster on the bulletin board invites everyone to the embassy burning on Friday.
BYOB (bring your own burka).

3. When a guy walks into the office with a bomb-vest on,
the other people in the office say, "Hi, (Al-) Fred!".

2. When the books don't balance, they blame the Joooooos!

1. The guy that runs the place has a first name of Jihad, and is a lawyer to boot.

You know what's kind of funny is that number one is true.

Of course, if you see bumper-stickers in the parking lot that say "God Bless Hitler", that can be a clue, too!
Asstards.

Hope this helps you keep YOUR neighborhood safe in the future!! :)
Now I have to go check how my daughter, Smitinghippies, is doing.

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