Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I Surrender!

I've noticed since about 90 days after 9-11 that the MSM, Hollyweird, Europe, and most Democratic politicians seem to think that denial, surrender, appeasement, and general ass-kissing regarding those who seek to destroy us are sound policies for the country, and also constitute reasonable strategies for personal defense.

In that spirit, I have decided to give in to the dark forces of Dr. Phat Tony, and Wyatt Earp, in our ongoing battle for 2nd tier blogododecahedron niche supremacy.

So, to appease my enemies, I have compiled a list of reasons you need to visit Dr. Phat Tony and Wyatt's Support Your Local Gunfighter (SYLG): , or "Relatively Clean Aspersions About SYLG and DPT":

1. Visiting these sites lowers the levels greenhouse gasses in the atomosphere. You do care about glaciers and polar bears, don't you?

2. Studies have show that laughing uproariously at these sites strengthens the heart muscle, and also gives you rock-hard abs.

3. Chicks dig rock hard abs....

4. Going to the SYLG and DPT sites raises your IQ index by an average of 12 points.
Unless you're a hippy.
Then you just get pissed off.

5. The DPT and SYLG sites help reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
Why is that?
Because I said so.

6. These sites, if visited 6 days a week, will make your teeth 4 shades whiter
(use only as directed).
Disclaimer: I use the term whiter only as an adjective, and not as any kind of racial statement - please do not call me a racist or sue me.

7. Of the two, only DPT has swag. This remains a mystery...

8. Frequenting these sites will also make certain parts of your body bigger, and other parts smaller, on men and women!
In a good way.

9. You know what I mean.

10. Wyatt and the Doc are committed to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Even if that pursuit involves humpback midgets, poo, hockey, or stalking Uber.
Consider the Constitution safe.

So this is my official surrender.
Now you'll be nice to me, right?
Right?
RIGHT??

Man, I hope this garners better results than what the left has gotten from terrorists!

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