Thursday, May 04, 2006

Headlines for YOU!

Here are some headlines I saw, and my synopsis of them.

I didn't actually read the articles, though.
Just the headlines, ma'am.

Pesticides may affect penis size
Probe started into pesticide, firearm and sportscar manufacturers' collusion...

Oil falls below $70 a barrel, gasoline stocks rise
It's all Bush's fault, except the falling price part.
Gore family unavailable for comment...

Navy Chaplain May Face Court-Martial For Praying
Officials looking into charges against lawyers for suing, and against hippies for smelling next...

Teacher Out Of Job After X-Rated Video Surfaces
ACLU, Planned Parenthood and DNC hiring slugfest forseen.
Can't agree on who she represents best...

Bill Gates wishes he weren't so rich.
Still won't give CUG a freakin' dime...
Boo-effin-hoo for you, Bill.

KENNEDY CAR CRASH COVER-UP?
Low IQ, Daily KOS connection?
Sunlight Causes Daylight?
Does jimmyb like guns?

Dean fires Dems' gay outreach chief
Meant to hire a gay reach-around chief...

Seen any good headlines lately?