Monday, June 12, 2006


I would almost think this was an urban-legend kind of thing, but it's an AP (enemy press) story, so it must be true!

From Fox News (and the AP):

Foiled Burglar Sues Store Employees for 'Emotional Distress'
Sunday, June 11, 2006

Associated Press

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A man who was beaten by employees of a store he was trying to rob is now suing.

Police say Dana Buckman entered the AutoZone in Rochester, New York, last July, brandished a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash.

That's when employees Eli Crespo and Jerry Vega beat him with a pipe and held Buckman at bay with his own gun.

All right Eli and Jerry!! Thank you for your public service.
Lord knows we need more bad-asses on the side of good!
If I see you, I'll buy you a beer.

Buckman escaped when they retreated into the store to call 911, but he was arrested a week later.
Nice work, loser-boy.

He pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery and was sentenced to 18 years in prison as a repeat violent felon.

A repeat violent offender. Hmmmm.
I'm starting to feel sympathetic towards the robber now.
I mean, he obviously has "repeat violent offending asshat disorder".

He needs therapy.
Like ching-ching-pow, perhaps.
18 years? He'll probably be out in 2.

Now Buckman is suing the auto parts store and the two employees who beat him, claiming they committed assault and battery and intentionally inflicted emotional distress.
Thus, scwaping his widdle knee, and hewting his widdle feewings.

Good luck on your lawsuit thats premise is - someone made you look like a big dumbass.

Which you are.