Friday, August 11, 2006

Headlines for You!

Gore isn't quite as green as he's led the world to believe
Reason #1,589 why I don't believe these lying, self-righteous hypocrites.

Tests show clinic drenched in blood
Why wait for Halloween?
Real houses of horror are all over the country, and funded, at least in part, by your tax dollars!

For Gays, New Math
You mean this math:
If you don't agree with my agenda and the way I promote it completely, then

2 + 2 = YOU'RE A SMALL-MINDED, IGNORANT, HATE-FILLED, FUNDAMENTALIST, HOMOPHOBIC (AND CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL) NAZI REPUGLIKKKAN!!
doesn't work? I wonder why?
How about just chilling out a little, and maybe people won't be so offended and defensive.
Many conservatives are live and let live types, you know.

Charity wants Britons to come to Masturbate-a-thon
Ahhh. More enlightened liberals.
Have I mentioned that if this is enlightenment, I don't want to be enlightened?
Ever.

Sexual lyrics prompt teens to have sex
What? Rich, influential, high-profile "role models" saying "that doing whatever you want is ok" actually legitimizes behaviour in the minds of impressionable children? Who'd have thunk it?

Theme park calls off "Muslim Fun Day"
Of course, I blame the Joooooos!!!

Muslim Group Upset by Bush's Use of 'Islamic Fascists'
All together now:
Boo-f***ing-hoo.
I guess he should have said "things of indeterminate race, faith, color, and gender that are trying to kill all of us, allegedly".