Saturday, December 31, 2005

Real Conversation at the Video Store

I'm in Smallville video store the other day, and I see some kids in there.
Two of them are wearing the standard dorky wool caps, alleged soul-patches, and extra-big pants.

The other "person" looks like a reject from A Clockwork Orange tard-party.
Instead of all white, he had a black body-suit thingy with lots of chrome rings (chrome is in this year I hear), a belt buckle sized suitably for a Texan, black PLATFORM (read gay) shoes, and a bowler. Yes, a bowler hat like the guy in the Avengers. A FREAKING BOWLER PEOPLE! In Ohiya!

To top off this ensemble, he had a cheerleading baton.
What? OH! Sorry.
He had a walking-stick/cane that he twirled around LIKE it was a cheerleading baton.
My bad.

Now don't get me wrong, I own the movie A Clockwork Orange, and generally like Kubrik flicks (well, except for Eyes Wide Shut - YAWN!!!!), but Stanley's vision of the future, while dark and foreboding, wasn't even close when it came to what fashion would be like in the future.

Thank God.

However, tard-boy must not have gotten the memo regarding a movie that came out at least 16 years before his birth, and 25 years before he could begin to comprehend it.

I'm sure the effect he was going for was, "Oooh, look at me. I'm dark and creepy and complex and dangerous".

What he ended up with was "Oh, look. I live at home, don't have a job, a girlfriend, or a future, and my parents vote liberal and let me do whatever I want, while blaming Bush and everyone else for my aberrant and deviant behavior. I have issues..."

So I see this douche-bag (am I allowed to say that?) walking around the video store, and because I'm a live-and-let-live kind of guy, I ignore him.
To each his own, right?
Of course inside, I'm totally laughing my ass off at him, but outside, I am my normal demure, yet strikingly good-looking, self. (Hey! I think I look great! Just ask me!)

So I ask the young lady at the counter, figuring she knows about modern fashion due to her scant years, something like this:

CUG: Uhhhh, did I miss some new fashion update? I don't believe I'm familiar with that style.

Clerk: Not that I'm aware of.

CUG: You know, it kind of reminds me of the way they dressed in that movie "A Clockwork Orange".

Clerk: Yeah, it kind of does.

CUG: Or, he could just be gay.

Clerk: (Snorts loudly, then laughs). That could be. You may be on to something there.

CUG: Yeah, that's my assessment, and I'm sticking with it.

Clerk: That seems reasonable. (laughing again).

I exit to my truck, thinking perhaps I have been hasty in my judgments.
Maybe I shouldn't judge my fellow man just by the way he's dressed.
May pre-judging base on appearance is a BAD thing! Maybe this guy is a fine, upstanding, taxpaying, 2nd Amendment-protecting pro-lifer.

I look out of my truck through the window of the video store and see the young rapscallion again.

I quickly decide I have NOT been hasty after all.

He's a tard.

Friday, December 30, 2005


Looking over recent casting suggestions for 24, I had a thought of my own on this.
John McClane (Bruce Willis of course) from the Die Hard movies, could be Jack's partner.
He has no problem smoking terrorists, foreigners and criminals, and he's a total badass like Jack.

Maybe in the first episode John McClane could smite John McCain for being a terrorist-coddling p###y.

Maybe the Alias chick could help them!

Heh. Yippee-Ki-Yay... indeed!
Crossposted at Blogs 4 Bauer!!! Check it out for more 24 fanaticism and deep insightful analysis like this!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

You've Got Swag!

Update: For sharp readers, yes there is a relationship between the cut-out styrofoam gun at the bottom of this post, and the bandaid on my middle finger. Stoopid knifes!)

A sure sign you have had a good Christmas...
When someone gets you some Dr. Phat Tony swag for Christmas!!!

Woo-hoo! (Note my simplistic and child-like glee.)

You didn't get any Dr. Phat Tony swag?
DAAANNNGGGGGG!!! Go get some then. Geeez!

Click here for Dr. Phat Tony's SWAG OF THE CENTURY!!!!
It will make you look cool.

Also, it appears that when somebody buys you DPT swag, you get firearms and firearms accessories!
Why yes, that is a stainless steel Smith and Wesson model 686 .357 Magnum revolver with adjustable sights, Pachmayr grips and a 4 inch barrel. Why do you ask?

Now, I only have anecdotal info on this, but it does appear to be true here.
So order some DPT swag today, and watch the gun pR0n roll in!
(More Christmas gun pR0n forthcoming...)

Also, DPT swag has been shown to increase size (ya know), cure halitosis, increase IQ, and knock off 6 months of the waiting time for surgery if you're a Canadian!!! WOW!!!

But wait, there's more:

Swag is environmentally friendly. Strangle a hippie with one of these shirts and see!
No fumes, just the original hippie-stench. (You may need a new shirt after that.)
You'll save lead AND gunpowder!

Captain Kangaroo did NOT by DPT swag. Now look where he is.

John Edwards did NOT by DPT swag; he's gay.
(Okay, he'd be gay anyway. Bad example.)

DPT swag has been shown to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and increase ozone to fill the hole in the ozone that you never hear about anymore.

If you don't buy DPT swag, this (below) might be the only firearm you get!
And that would be sad. (Heh. Wait till you see what I cut that out for!!! Woo-hoo, indeed!)

Disclaimer: This information has been collected, collated and sifted through with the same care and dedication to truth and facts that liberals use to promote global warming, the war on poverty, and gun control schemes.
So all of this must be true!

Take that for what it's worth....


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Memed Again!!!

Double-memed this time by Moonbatty and Alli!
The torture never stops.....

Here goes:

What were you doing ten years ago?
Just starting at GM.

What were you doing one year ago?
Working at GM, teaching, consulting a little.

Five snacks you enjoy:
powdered doughnuts
almost anything wrapped in bacon (mmmmm....bacon...)

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Still Life - Iron Maiden
Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking - Roger Waters
See Emily Play - Pink Floyd
Broken Hearts Are for A**holes - Frank Zappa
Postwar Dream - Pink Floyd

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Hire a hit on Michael Moore
Buy a house for my mother, my daughter, and one for my youngest brother.
Buy Haliburton stock.
Buy a gun, or two... heh.
Pay off my bills.

Five bad habits:
An occasional cigar.

Five things you like doing:
Being married.

Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new again:
Wear - Super-oversized pants
Buy - Dinner Bell products (they totally screwed their workers here. Totally.)
Buy - Foreign nameplate vehicles (you don't poop where you eat...)
Wear - Jewlery or a wristwatch. Job hazards (up to and including death), plus I destroy them.
Use: Windows NT (unless I have to!)

Five favorite toys
The cat
The dogs

Just Wondering.

If Jews run the world, as some of my conspiracy emailers seem to think, why isn't the world more organized and efficient?
And why isn't there kosher McDonald's food in Ohio?

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Linus Regarding Luke

Charlie Brown: [shouting in desperation] Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?

Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please.

[a spotlight shines on Linus]

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is
Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'".

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!
Out of the mouths of (cartoon) babes.
I think Linus (quoting Luke, of course) kind of said it all, don't you?

I miss the days when this wasn't offensive!

Merry Christmas to all of you, and may the Lord bless you on this, and all days.
Thanks, as always, for stopping by and may your new year be blessed, happy and productive!

(Portrait by Bernardino Luini, early 1500's.
Courtesy of Dave Nation's World)

Friday, December 23, 2005

Blogs for Bauer

And so it begins...

Today starts the official countdown for the new season of 24. That is, there are 24 days until the season premiere.

I'm ready! Now, let's get Kim back for a few episodes, and then have her killed for her stupidity once and for all.
She's cute, but honestly, she's just too stupid to live.
So let's send her off with a proper demise. Something involving explosives, hopefully.
We have to face facts, the mountain lion sub-plot was gay.

All right folks, get on over to Blogs for Bauer to get the skinny on all that 24 goodness.
Expect a real post on this later!

Real Conversation

So a co-worker and I were discussing the pending layoffs expected over the course of the next calender year, and we came around to the fact of finite time of unemployment benefits.

I then piped up:
"I don't have to worry about my unemployment benefits running out."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because I'm a Republican and I'll go get a f###ing job.
I'm not going to sit on my a** for 26 weeks with my hand out! Sheesh!"

I'm such an a**hole sometimes.

But it was kind of funny.
Good thing that guy and I are friends!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Observations in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

Observations from a weekend shopping trip, in which I didn't buy much...

1. There are like a million good looking women at malls.
I am fortunate in that I arrived with the best looking one of them all, and left with her as well.
Yay me! I'm Mr. Lucky!

2. I still hate big cities. I need a reminder occasionally.
Noise, traffic, crime, traffic, too crowded, traffic, traffic, traffic...oops.
(Shades of: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...")
Yes, I am a hilljack, but one by choice.

3. If the economy is so horrible, like all the leftards say, WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE SPENDING HUGE GOBS OF CASH COMING FROM?!?!?!?!
Good Lord! I couldn't even breathe in there!
And all these poor, unemployed shoppers are driving pretty dang new cars. (Now if we could get them to buy American made ones, all the better!)

4. Even fly-over country Indiana has a bunch of goth-freaks. Is this a genetic permutation, or just a fad. I'm all for personal expression, but the whole "I want to remind you of death" thing is just plain annoying. And kind of gay, too.

Bonus restaurant review!!
TGI Fridays, using my 6-shooter scale of approval:

Jack Daniel's Sesame Chicken bites - 5 out of 6 cartridges.

Jack Daniel's burger - 5 out of 6 cartridges.

Jack Daniel's fajitas - 3.5 out of 6 cartridges (I wasn't impressed).
Don't ask me how you get a half cartridge.

Huge $6.00 margarita - 6 out of 6 cartridges. Mmmmmmmmm.....

24 ounce glass of Guinness draught - 7 out of 6 cartridges. Double Mmmmmmmmm.....!

Conclusion: Overall, a decent meal, albeit expensive.
Final Conclusion: You can never go wrong having a huge glass of Guinness!

Now go buy some ammo!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


(Click on pic to throw up)
Cindy Sheehan is a tard.
With 15 minutes too much fame.
Any questions?

Check this out -
From and the AP (Asshat Press):

Sheehan Leads War Protest in Spain

MADRID, Spain Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan led a small protest Saturday outside the U.S. Embassy to denounce the war in Iraq.

Small? Don't you mean minute? Miniscule? Infinitesimal?

About 100 protesters carried banners criticizing President Bush.

Bwhahahaha! 100? Sheesh. If I double that number with a pro-Iraq party, will the AP come to my house? Hi Mom!!
I've got one word for Cindy to get the crowds to show up: KEGGER.

Sheehan, whose soldier son was killed in Iraq, called Bush a war criminal and said, "Iraq is worse than Vietnam."

It's bad. It's really, really, really bad. Look here.
It's because of the jooooooooos.
Additionally, they wanted everyone to know that Murtha and Kerry were in Viet Nam.
Oh, and that we should anyone...everyone...every time... Culture of corruption. Bush lied, kids died. (Insert any wacky leftist bumper-sticker slogan here.)

The protest also was called in memory of Jose Couso, a Spanish television cameraman killed on April 8, 2003, in Baghdad when a U.S. tank fired at a hotel where many foreign correspondents were staying. Reuters cameraman Taras Protsyuk, a Ukrainian, also was killed in that incident.
So if the reporters hadn't been killed, how many protestors would have showed up then? 6? 8?

Thanks a lot for honoring the memory of the fallen soldiers, that actually DO SOMETHING in a war.

Feel free to leave your own caption in the comments section.
I kind of liked the Stella one, ala Elaine from Seinfeld...

Monday, December 19, 2005

I'm Thinking It Was CUG.

(Click picture for a cool view!)
Guess who got to shoot a full-auto WWII Sten sub-machine gun last week.

Go ahead.


Yeah. It was me!!!

Full-auto's TOTALLY ROCK!!!
And so do Class-III firearms dealers!! Woo-hoo! Thanks folks (you know who you are!)!!!

What a blast (pun intended).
Very controllable, light, relatively slow-cyclic rate. Could shoot singles.

The owner told me it will shoot almost any ammo that is "around" 9mm.
Heck of a slogging rifle.

This was WAY-COOL to shoot. (Does that make me way-cool by proxy?)
I'm going to try to get some pictures next time.
Happy, happy, happy... :) :) :) :)!!!

Abortion is Murder.

Just in case you didn't know...

This has been a public service announcement by jimmyb, and CUG Industries.

(Huh? What hornets' nest?)

Friday, December 16, 2005

Hooray, Ammo!

(Click on pic for a view of pretty-pretty ammo boxes!)
Yee-haw! The ammo-elves paid jimmyb a visit today!
(Additionally, they kicked the under-pants gnomes asses! Steal my tighty-whiteys will ya!)

Ahhhhhhhh. Little brass encased copper-jacketed nuggets of happiness, goodness, safety and freedom, waiting to be launched at paper targets, potential food, evil-doers and gun-grabbing dirty-commies (who are also evil-doers by definition).
Merrily speeding their way along shallow arcs to a final point of impact.


The little guys run out so fast...

Sadly, having too much ammo is like having too much health or good luck.
You just can never have enough...

On a related not, here's how to tell if you may live in a VRWC (vast right-wing conspiracy) household:

If you hear a conversation like this...

CUG: Honey, I'm almost out of 9mm ammo.

The Missus: How much do you have left, sweetie?

CUG: Well, less than 200 rounds, I know that!

The Missus: You'd better get some then.

CUG: Yay!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Macs Suck.

I'll never hear the end of it, but freudz turned me on to this video.
With apologies to all you Mac-weenies.

Why Macs Suck.

See, she can't be all bad!

Thanks, FWD.
(Warning, some stuff on FWD's site could be deemed offensive.
Hell, who am I kidding! Deemed-shmeemed! Some of it IS offensive. )

Purple Finger Day. Yay!

From Righting America:

Thursday is Purple Finger Day

Fellow Patriots: Just a reminder to those interested in doing a a very quick and simple little thing tomorrow - a personal yet powerful statement for this historic election in Iraq. Show your support for the Iraqis, as well as our own troops who have sacrificed so much to make this happen. Celebrate Purple Finger Day! (I will be taking a purple "Sharpie" to work with me tomorrow - my colleagues should beware!).
Freedom rocks! Congrats to the Iraqis!!!

Thanks to Righting America for the great idea.
And yes, jimmyb's finger is purple today at work, and will be tonight when I give the final exam for my class.

Amazing the voter turnout they have there, given the potential dangers.

I'm so happy for these folks. I've been praying for this.
I hope the good news continues!

And to the MSM: I'm terribly sorry you didn't get the bloodbath you wished for.

American Soldiers Terrorizing Iraqis...

Happy Election Day!! :)

Eds note: Where us Americans would run away screaming with a rictus of unimaginable fear, Iraqis smile and congregate with their children around people that terrorize them. This is because their culture is different, and plus, they're just not that bright.
Trust me, these folks are paralyzed with fear.

In all honesty, though: God bless Iraq. And may freedom reign.

Hat tip to BC for the picture!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Did She Just Give Them the (Purple) Finger?

Whiny libs take note. This is a person who LIVES THERE. Not in Hollywood or DC.

From the Political Teen:

Iraqi Voter: Anybody Who Doesn’t Appreciate America Can Go To Hell

“Anybody who doesn’t appreciate what America has done and President Bush, let them go to hell”
– Iraqi Citizen, voter Betty Dawisha

Download the video here: Go to Hell! (It's pretty small; less than 1 meg).

You go on with your bad self, Betty! Because, YOU ROCK!!!

Freedom is an awesome thing. Now if we could just get more here.
(I wonder if my wife would let me buy another gun.....)

H/T Michelle Malkin and Tyler D.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Hey! What About Me!

(Click on pic for a better view of the far right-wing Husky!)
How to tell if you're blogging to much to suit the hippy chomper (aka the Canukismiter!)...
He's quite adamant, too!


Freedom Isn't Free.

(Click on poster for a better view!)
From A Human Right. A great pro-2nd Amendment site.

Freedom isn't just what the government says you can do.

I notice the NAACP and most leftists are anti-gun.
They also profess they want to help minorities.
I would think disarming black, Jews, and other minorites would be the last thing they would want...
They say the police will protect them, and the next day say the police are racist bigots.

Typical liberalism, to say you can have it both ways to further an agenda, while endangering those you claim to serve.
I'll bet the most vocal opponents of gun-rights go out with many guns protecting them (Clintons, Bradys, Feinsteins, etc.). Which is perfectly ok, for THEM.
That's one of the advantages of being in the elite groups of activists and politicians.

Us commoners however...

Moral: Don't be a slave; it's not just a color issue, it's a hardware issue.

Now go promote freedom: buy a gun. Heck, buy 2!
It's your duty as a free citizen!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Memed by the Doc!

Well, I've been memed by the Doc (that's Dr. Phat Tony, FYI) and asked to list 5 weird habits.
As much as I detest memes, I will do them on occasion. (Especially if it's Doc!)
So here goes:

5. When someone says something questionable or incorrect (or just plain stupid) I like to say, "Reeeeally?".

4. I have a little cheap digital recorder to record stuff to blog about. This is because I have a lousy memory for things like that. People think its for recording stuff for work, or organization, or for a calendar or reminder, but it's just for blogging.

3. I hate to wear boxer shorts. I must wear the tighty-whiteys. NO going commando.
This will never change.
To quote Kramer: "I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!"

2. I love my country, I think the US Constitution should be the law of the land (maybe all lands!), I think our culture is superior to most (all?) others, I believe vehemently that the 2nd Amendment protects all the others, and hippies and commies piss me off.
I profess this to people.


Oh, wait. That's only weird if your a liberal.

Never mind.

2. I think a fun Saturday night is when I go to the pistol range and I'm the only one there (multiple lanes to use, YAY!). Well, I'd like my wife there, if she wasn't on 3rd shift.

1. I can quote many (most?) lines from the movie "Spaceballs", and I do.
("There's only one man who would DARE give me the raspberry.... LONESTAR!")

So thanks, Doc! I owe you one.
Really. ;)

Is there a master list of who already got tagged with this meme?
Or should it just die here?

Friday, December 09, 2005

It's About Time.

Update: The video is here:
This from Drudge Report just slays me (bolding and itallics are mine):

Thu Dec 08 2005 18:02:44 ET

The DRUDGE REPORT has learned from a top GOP operative that the Republican National Committee will provide state parties with a web video prior to release tomorrow afternoon that shows a white flag waving over images of Democrat leaders making anti-war remarks.
Good! It's true, it's appropriate, it shows where the left really stands.
(Which is shoulder to shoulder with our enemies.)

The ad is in response to the controversial comments Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean and 2004 Democratic Presidential nominee John Kerry made earlier in the week.
Talking about this, and this.

A Democratic strategist who had the web ad described to her said, “This is way over the top but we have no one to blame but Dean, Kerry and others who continue to pander to the anti-war activists within our party.”
Hahahaha!! No s**t!
Dear Lefties, please keep screaming your message out to America.
Then when you get shellacked, complain that you're not getting your message out, or whine that it's being distorted by the big dumb meanies in the GOP.

I want ALL Americans to here the message of the left, not what they want us to hear, but what they really mean. I just wish the press would cover their agenda fully.

The web video advances the Republican contention that the Democrats only have a “retreat and defeat” message on the war in Iraq.

The video highlights the effect Democrats can have on the morale of U.S. soldiers.
Democrats? Defeat? Appeasement? Retreat? Demoralization? Hates the military?
Yep, it all fits.

One Republican strategist familiar with the ad said, “The Democrats, especially Howard Dean have a way of trying to turn the tables and say ‘that’s not what I meant’ – its just those ‘evil Republicans’ This video will make them crazy – it reinforces what they really believe with what they actually said – and that is devastating for the Democratic Party.
I believe that last line says it all.
I can't wait to see these spots!

In the words of Kelso, or the RHOG guys: BUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Vehicular Profiling.

One of the things I like about rural living is the (relatively) low crime rate.
A murder (which usually is quite rare, except for that one year in town nearby) is front-page news pretty much from beginning to conviction.
A vandalism spree is likewise front-page material.

15 miles away from this town is the college where I teach.
It is 5 or 6 miles away from an even smaller town that I couldn't tell you if they've ever had a high profile crime.

So anyway, this sets the stage for my vehicular profiling..

Here's how you can tell if someone is a city-dweller:

When they have a six year old Dodge Neon with some rust, parked in Po-Dunkville, and they have "The Club" on the steering wheel.

Now THAT'S funny.

I felt like waiting out in the parking-lot for the guy just so I could say, "You ain't from around here, are ya?", but I didn't.


I'm cooking ramen noodles last night.

Lobster flavored.

You would think that lobster flavored ramen would cost like 10 times what chicken flavored ramen noodles cost, but they don't....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Worth A Thousand Words, Indeed...

From my eminently talented friend, Pete at iHillary. (Click on pick for a better view!)
He calls this one Stealth, and writes:

Merry Christmas to the good people at Stop the ACLU... and full speed ahead in 2006 !

If I had brains and talent and humor and could Photoshop, I'd want to be like Pete.

Pete, you rock!
Stop by Pete's site and see all his other works, too!
And tell him CUG (or of course, jimmyb) sent you!

I Wonder...

If you park on the street, and someone tells you "That was unparallelled parking", is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Never Forget.

Thanks to all our service people, and to all our allies, too!
God bless our soldiers and our country.
From the Las Vegas Sun:

Survivors to Mark Pearl Harbor Anniversary



Survivors of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor will join sailors, community leaders and guests on Wednesday for the 64th anniversary of the assault.

The crowd will observe a moment of silence at 7:55 a.m. - the moment the attack began in 1941.

A U.S. Navy ship will honor the USS Arizona, which lies submerged in Pearl Harbor with the bodies of hundreds of sailors still aboard. The Hawaii Air National Guard will fly F-15s in formation over the harbor.

The Navy's chief uniformed officer, Adm. Michael G. Mullen, is scheduled to address the crowd along with Sen. Daniel K. Inouye, D-Hawaii, who saw and heard Japanese planes drop bombs on Oahu as a teenager in Honolulu.

Navy reservists from the USS Ward, which fired the first shots of the war when its crew spotted and sank a Japanese midget submarine, will also be honored.

The Dec. 7, 1941, surprise attack on Pearl Harbor and other military bases on Oahu lasted two hours, leaving 21 U.S. ships heavily damaged and 323 aircraft damaged or destroyed.

It killed 2,390 people and wounded 1,178.

Steve the Pirate has some nice words here:

You rock, Steve.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Dean Is A *&^%^%$ Traitor.

Update: Cliff Hancuff pointed out that the quote in itallics (below), whom I had originally credited to Abraham Lincoln, was never actually said by Lincoln.
I have credited whom I now believe is the original author of that. And I still agree with the sentiment. Thanks, Cliff.

I was in the process of composing an interview with Dean and then I read this and I lost teh funny about it. Stoopid leftards! He says this garbage right before the upcoming Iraqi elections.
Hopefully, there is a little of teh funny in this fisking!
(And if not, too bad!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA! I'm ranting anyway!!!)

Dean: US Won't Win in Iraq

(SAN ANTONIO) -- Saying the "idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong," Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean predicted today that the Democratic Party will come together on a proposal to withdraw National Guard and Reserve troops immediately, and all US forces within two years.
Dean is a traitor and I am publicly calling for his trial and execution. Seriously. Indict his butt.

J. Michael Waller (I think).: Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage moral and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.

Or impaled.

"I've seen this before in my life. This is the same situation we had in Vietnam. Everybody then kept saying, 'just another year, just stay the course, we'll have a victory.' Well, we didn't have a victory, and this policy cost the lives of an additional 25,000 troops because we were too stubborn to recognize what was happening."
Boo-hoo-hoo. I only have the Vietnam card to play. It's an oldie, but a goody. Additionally I, like most on the left, have no problem standing on, and exploiting, the dead bodies of heroes for political gain (see also, Sheehanning).
Look at me pee on the cenotaph, Ma! It's for their own good! Yeeeaaarrrrggg!

Dean says the Democrat position on the war is 'coalescing,' and is likely to include several proposals.
Wow. That didn't take long. Just a few years and you guys damn near are ready to make some kind of lame-assed decision. I am in awe at your intellect and decisiveness.
It is truly a wonder that all do not call upon you for your sage leadership and advice.

"I think we need a strategic redeployment over a period of two years," Dean said.

Read: Cut and run. Surrender. Leave the Iraqis to the wolves. (Install warlords and despots here.)

Dean didn't specify which country the US forces would deploy to, but he said he would like to see the entire process completed within two years. He said the Democrat proposal is not a 'withdrawal,' but rather a 'strategic redeployment' of U.S. forces.
Howard Dean isn't a "coward and a traitor" but rather, a "seditious turncoat asshat".

"The White House wants us to have a permanent commitment to Iraq."
Says who?

This is an Iraqi problem. President Bush got rid of Saddam Hussein and that was a great thing, but that could have been done in a very different way.
How? By saying "Pretty Please", or letting the UN bury him in paper resolutions for a few decades longer? Wait for him to die of natural causes, maybe?

But now that we're there we need to figure out how to leave. 80% of Iraqis want us to leave, and it's their country."
Was that an Al-Jazeer, or CNN poll. Eh, like it matters...

Dean also compared the controversy over pre-war intelligence to the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon's presidency in 1974.

HAHAHAHA! You wish! Everyone was on the same page on pre-war intelligence, including your false idol, credibly accused rapist, and resident disbarred sex-offender, Mr. Billy-boy himself.
Nice rewrite of history you guys are doing, though.
Some actually believe it.
Others read.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. Bush lied, kids died.
If you have evidence of a crime, let's have it.

So, there you have it. A traitorous, evil excuse of a party leader.
Democrats: You should be beaming with pride at your pro-America, pro-troops leader.

So, being eminently qualified, I will wire up the electric-chair for Howard personally.
Or grout in the pike.
Treason IS a capital crime.
While we're at it, maybe we can get the Billary clan in there for selling our nuke secrets to the Red Chinese. Woo-hoo!! Three-fer!

I've got it!
An electrified pike!!! Steel and copper and electron-flow goodness!!! AWESOME!
I'm thinking of using a pulse-width modulated drive with analog PLC controls for an infinitely adjustable smoky good time. Maybe even get the flux-vector option to add some entertainment.
Hi-tech electronics meets old-school smiting!

And, as a caring uniter, I will extend the olive-branch to the left, and make the whole system solar and wind powered (of course, with a nuclear-powered backup power supply).

Sometimes I amaze myself how cool I am.

Or retarded.

Or whatever.



Linked to Right Wing Nation open trackbacks!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Maybe It's Time to Withdraw.

From Worldnet Daily:

California homicides dwarf Iraq deaths
State lost 2,394 to murder in 2004 compared to 905 coalition lives

Recently released crime statistics show the homicide rate in California is 265 percent higher than the death rate suffered by U.S. and British military personnel in Iraq.

According to the report "Crime in California 2004," compiled by California Attorney General Bill Lockyer, there were 2,394 reported homicides in the Golden State last year. That compares with 905 deaths of coalition forces in Iraq, chiefly Americans and Brits, during the same time period.

The Marxist experiment/quagmire known as Kalifornia, has come to the point of hopelessness.

We should cut our losses now, get the conservatives out, and blow the fault line, jettisoning a dangerous radical state into the ocean. (Many of life's best solutions involve high-explosives!)

How many more innocent lives are we going to sacrifice on the alter of good intentions and political correctness?
And let's be honest.
It just isn't working. There was flawed data.
"Those people" just can't handle true democracy and capitalism.

We'll find places for the Point 5 crew, Difster, (Mensa B?), Bruce Willis, Ron Silver, and the few other California conservatives. We can put them up in hotels for a while, till they get back on their feet. (Probably about 12 hours or so.)

Lets face it, we've been there since 1846, and no matter how much social engineering, unconstitutional gun-control, price capping, ungodly high taxation, and bad movie and television programming is applied, the death rates are just plain unacceptable.
There is no exit strategy; no end in sight.
I thought there was hope when Gray Davis got his butt handed to him, but I was wrong.
If we can't button up Iraq in 2 and a half years, how can we expect the left coast to be secure in 160 years?

Withdraw now! It's hopeless!!! We can't win!
Boxer lied, kids died!
Feinstein has the blood of innocents on her hands!
Gray Davis is a tard!
Culture of corruption!
Conservative bloggers unite!!!

Envision a free (floating) Kalifornia in '06!!!

Farenheit 1861

Michael Moore's documentary about the Civil War.
Funny. Disturbing. Worth the watch...

Farenheit 1861

Hat-tip to Tyler D. at 45 Caliber Justice!

Sunday, December 04, 2005


If you haven't seen this yet, go check it out.
It's the Wizards of Winter video with the musical piece of the same name by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
The house Christmas (yes, I said CHRISTMAS) lights are syncronized with the music, and it's good music, too.

I think this is real from what I've read, but either way, it is impressive.

Plus, it's just plain cool...
See it here: Wizards of Winter

(I can email this to you if you email me and let me know; Putfile won't let you download, I don't think.)

It is real, according to The Light Before Christmas.
The guy used Light-O-Rama programmable light controller(s).

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Good One!

(Click on cartoon for a better look.)
From the brilliant Cox and Forkum.
Original Cox and Forkum post is here.

Kind of says it all.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Impaling As Domestic Policy.

Fmragtops had an interesting post recently.
Here is a small excerpt of the whole post:
We just don't impale enough people these days.
I'd like to celebrate the lost art of impaling, while passing out more linky love.
Both regular readers of this blog instantly see why this appealed to the humble (*snort*) author of this site:

Medievally smiting people old-school style, and link whoring!!! Two of my favorite things! Yay!

Let's face it. Impaling is a lost art. Additionally, there seems to be a direct correlation to the decreasing frequency of impaling, and the increase in rampant and rabid liberalism, terrorist attacks and reality-television series.

Coincidence? I think not.

Because this is America, we should do things bigger and better.
In honor of that, I propose the first US of A Conservatives' Mass-Impaling Party, hosted by Fox News. Woo-hoo! Impale-Orama '06 (the theocracy will be here soon)!

(Click on pic for a better view. Oh, yes; eat your heart out FrankJ!)
In the coming US theocracy, which will be ruled with iron fists by FrankJ, jimmyb, Steve the Pirate, FMRagtops, Grim and Xeno, we shall have mass impalings that will rival impalings anywhere in the world (in size and scope)!
These impaling will be held for various reasons, including as punishment, and for my amusement.

Because we are the US, we will have to make sure not only that it is the biggest and baddest, it will also have to be done properly from an engineering standpoint, as well as making sure that "rules" of diversity are followed.

Note that we use the really fat, sweaty, smelly, commiefied libs for an anchor.
This solidifies the base of the pike. And speaking of bases, these 4 tards are, coincidentally, 50% of the Democrtatic Party's base by weight and volume.
This is sound mechanical engineering. I saw something like it on MacGyver once.

Additionally, we have the added benefit of the top-layer impalees having to smell the stench of hate, BO and hypocrisy wafting up towards and over them, as they writhe on their journey to a well-deserved, albeit too quick, exit (strategy).

From a diversity standpoint, note the gender and color mix. I even have a Republican (admittedly a RINO) in the mix. Mondo-diversity!
Terrorists get their own pike, as the libs would sing Kumbaya and try to help them if they were on the same one.

Also, the pike will be union made of American steel, as part of The Conservative UAW Guy's outreach, domestic production, and smiting programs.

Let's face it, kids. Impaling is a great tool to bring the country back to its senses.
Now of course, some will whine, "Impaling isn't a deterrent".
To which I counter, paraphrasing Ann Coulter, that it will at least deter the impaled.

I guess the bottom line is: Ask not whom your country can impale for you, but who can you impale for your country.

And thanks to Fmragtops for the inspiration, and the linky-love! :)
Linked to Linky Love, The Impaler.

Disclaimer: I would never really impale anyone in real-life (unless they pissed me off).

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

What If...

(Photo courtesy of AP News)
What if an opportunistic, media-whoring, anti-semitic, dirty-commie had a book signing and nobody came?
It would look like this!

Even the famous David Duke agrees with Cindy Sheehan!
Except he apparently draws bigger crowds of left-wing Democrats than she does.


This must be minute 17 in Cindy Sheehan's 15 minutes.
(She's probably blaming the Joooooooos!!!)

Monday, November 28, 2005

Ann Again...

Ann Coulter hits the nail on the head.
She pulls no punches, that is for sure.
I'd like to see some of these people up on charges; but that's just me.
And Ann Coulter.

From Ann .


In an Aug. 3, 1995, interview in The Wall Street Journal, Bui Tin, a former colonel in the North Vietnamese army, called the American peace movement "essential" to the North Vietnamese victory.

"Every day our leadership would listen to world news over the radio at 9 a.m. to follow the growth of the American anti-war movement," he said. "Visits to Hanoi by people like Jane Fonda and former Attorney General Ramsey Clark and ministers gave us confidence that we should hold on in the face of battlefield reverses."

What are we to make of the fact that — as we now know — the Democrats don't even want to withdraw troops from Iraq? By their own account, there is no merit to their demands. Before the vote, Democrats could at least defend themselves from sedition by pleading stupidity. Now we know they don't believe what they are saying about the war. (Thanks to that vote, the Islamo-fascists know it, too.)

The Democrats are giving aid and comfort to the enemy for no purpose other than giving aid and comfort to the enemy. There is no plausible explanation for the Democrats' behavior other than that they long to see U.S. troops shot, humiliated, and driven from the field of battle.

They fill the airwaves with treason, but when called to vote on withdrawing troops, disavow their own public statements. These people are not only traitors, they are gutless traitors.
Go read the whole thing here.
I remember when the same people were saying we were bogged down before we got to Baghdad, and if we ever did get there, Soddom's (sic) Republican Guard would slaughter us.
Remember when they said the coalition could never take Afganistan?

And we're supposed to trust these people on military matters now?
I think not.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Another Victim...

Widespread tryptophan overdoses have been reported all across the country, for the last several days! The above picture depicts one of these victims. This insidious substance knows no bounds.
These overdoses appear to be a cyclical phenomenon in the US.

Some tell this reporter Bush is to blame.

An asshat was quoted as saying:
"The Bush administration has known about the uncontrolled and unrestricted sales of tryptophan and tryptophan containing products in this country for years now, and has done nothing!
We all know that tryptophan also disproportionately affects puppies, kittens and the poor, while causing global warming.
These heartless bastards will stop at nothing to line the pockets of their rich, Christian tryptophan-dealing cronies, at the expense of puppies, kittens and downtrodden minorities.

Have these Repugs no shame!
They have eye-crust and blood on their hands!

#falls over, frothing at mouth#

Uh, we need some thorazine over here, please.

There you have it folks; yet another victim of the Bush McHitlerChimpy CheneyBurton Carlyle Corporate Turkey Machine!

Dang Republicans.

Friday, November 25, 2005

e-Postal Contest #4

(Click on pic for better view, courtesy of Mr. Completely!)
I'm late with this, and I sucked! (No connection, however!)
Here are the results for the e-Postal Contest #4, "Seein' Spots", sponsored by Mr. Completely:

e-Postal Handgun Match "Seein' Spots" Results

A discerning I will notice that yours truly placed:

A: Dead last.

B: Next to dead last.

Poor strategy mixed with poor shooting equals crappy scores!!!!

-Postal Handgun Match
"Seein' Spots" Results
(Perfect Score is 365)

10 Yard Division - .20 to .29 CALIBER

Name -- Score -- Caliber -- Handgun
1. -- Mr. Completely -- 290 -- .22 -- High Standard
2. -- JimP -- 210 -- .22 -- Ruger MK. II
3. -- Mad Oilman -- 140 -- .22 -- S & W 617
4. -- JimmyB -- 100 -- .22 -- Ruger

10 Yard Division - .30 to .39 CALIBER

Name -- Score -- Caliber -- Handgun
1. -- JimP -- 95 -- .38 -- Taurus 66
2. -- Les Jones -- 90 -- .357 -- Revolver
3. -- JimmyB -- 65 -- 9mm. -- Glock
4. -- Mr. Completely 60 -- .38 -- Taurus 66

Note Mr. C's incredibly high score in the first division (almost 3X's mine!).
Congrats to the winners! Well deserved congrats, I might add.

Now the upside:

I need to practice more. That means more shooting for jimmyb!!! Yay!
(Ah, the eternal optimist!!)

See you at the range...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for my family, my friends, God, and country.
Thank you to our military people, especially.
Even moreso for those that can't be home, or worse yet, will never come home.
Thank you.
We are so blessed as a country; it boggles the mind sometimes.
I could make a list as long as a country road.

And if you are reading this, Thank You, too!!!
Those who read and comment here have become dear to me, and I consider you my friends.
Thank you for putting up with me, and thank you for coming back.
You are, by far, the main reason I continue this strange endeavor.

God bless us, and God bless the U.S. of A!
(And yes, God bless those other countries, too!)

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.


PS - I tried to get to all the sidebar folk to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving.
I used a haphazard, non-linear, random approach. Sorry if I missed you.
If you are on my sidebar, you must somehow rock, else you would not be there.
(If you want to be on there, let me know!!!)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Oh, Yeah!

I've been in a haze, but I did win the caption contest at GOP and the City!

Now be forewarned, it could be deemed offensive to union people, Asians, short people, old people and Democrats. Did I leave anyone out?

However the important thing is, IT'S FUNNY AND I WON!!! See teh funny here:

GOP and the City: Weekend Caption Contest.

(My pal Wyatt Earp of Support Your Local Gunfighter, took a deserved second place! You rock, Wyatt!!!)

Q and A Time...

I've had a few emails and comment regarding my lack of posting during this week, the GM restructuring announcement, and if there is any relation.

1. Not feeling well lately.
Boo-hoo. I'm OK, just back pain and a general crappy feeling.
Summation: I will live.

2. My plant was NOT one of the immediately affected plants regarding closings and layoffs.

YAY! (For now.)

However, 30,000 peoples' jobs are gone by 2008 (some of them this JANUARY!!!). Those kinds of numbers can, of course, have real implications at other plants, including mine.
The one sure thing about working in the auto industry is that there is no sure thing.
You know that going into the deal.
I love the work I do, and it pays reasonably well, so that risk, along with the inherent dangers of my particular job, I accept.

Please pray for the families of these aforementioned people. This is going to be an ongoing thing for GM, and probably Ford as well. The jury is still out on Chrysler; they jettisoned a ton of jobs years ago. Unfortunately, GM has roughly 2 retirees for every active worker; I don't know if those numbers are sustainable (Social Security, anyone?).

This is a problem our Asian competition won't face for 25 or 30 years, but they will face it, and they know that. I wonder what their plan is.

Probably Ninja assassins, dressed like geishas:

"Yee-haw! One day until I retire from working for these oppresive little bastards!"

Hey, sweetheart." (nods to little oriental chick).


"Jim-Bob!! You ok?"
Oh my God! Is that a throwing-star in his neck?!?!?!
You're no geisha!!!

"I will work for you forever my crafty, intelligent, yellow overlords!!!"

Anyhoo, thanks for your concern folks!
The good Lord always has taken care of my family and I, and will continue to do so.
Even if it isn't the way I wanted it!

PS - No offense intended to my future overlords!

Just kidding, guys. It's HUMOR.
Plus, I'm really good at fixing machines! M'kay?
Buddy? Pal?
Heh, indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving, yo!

Monday, November 21, 2005

This Guy is Good!

The following is blatantly stolen from Steve the Pirate, where I contribute occasionally.
It made me snort coffee out of my nose, so I thought I would share it with you.
Plus, it's about me.
Steve is a great conservative and a great writer. He is also wise beyond his admittedly tender years.
Go check him out here: Steve the Pirate

Without further fanfare...

The Untold Story of...

Most of you know that I have taken an unannounced leave of absence; I hate to sound like a loser, but I just haven’t had time to update STP like I should be doing.

I was even considering handing off STP to Jimmy and Zweibel while I took an announced leave of absence. That, however, just cannot be done. Not when I have received this from Steve the Pirate’s Super Secret Intelligence Agency That Shant Be Named© (Motto: If we told you, we’d have to kill you several times before you hit the ground.).

It seems the SSIATSBN© (2nd Motto: Those Filthy Lies Don’t Write Themselves) has done a little research on my friend and co-blogger JimmyB. Sure, it’s not as bad as the Puppy Blender. but it’s still a bit terrifying.

Read on…if you dare.


-JimmyB wasn’t born; he was willed into existence by union executives and cheap beer brewers. They hoped he would be a puppet to vote Democrat and buy cheap lager…well, only one of those plans worked.

-Jimmy’s physical composition is comprised of three elements: pure evil, cheap beer, and a burning hate of hippies. Oh, and more cheap beer.

-Jimmy is a gun nut. Which is exactly why should he ever have a daughter, she won’t date until she’s in her late thirties.

-In case you didn’t know, Jimmy hates hippies. This is because a hippie tried to take his steak as a child., claiming “Meat is murder.” Jimmy ate the hippie instead.

-After all, once you taste the flesh of a hippie, you hunger for more.

-After properly bathing and seasoning it, of course.

-Some question these assumptions due to the number of blogs Jimmy contributes to (last count, 37,456.14). They claim he must be a supercomputer designed by Karl Rove to drive hippies to suicide.

-I doubt it. There’s too much evil present for Jimmy to be a machine. Don’t feed me that “I, Robot” crap either.

-Word has it that JimmyB has an oversized blender that he uses to blend hippies and turn them into energy drinks. Well, after he takes the good parts and grinds it up into hamburger meat.

-Sure, it’s not as bad as puppies, but still.

-Word has it that this large blender is stored within Jimmy’s monster pickup, bane of hippies and environmentalists everywhere.

-It’s common knowledge that Bush had to invade Iraq, steal its oil, and sell it to Jimmy via Halliburton just so he could keep this behemoth of a vehicle on the road.

-Jimmy is married, and his wife must be a saint. Bleaching all those hippie blood-stained shirts must take a lot out of the poor woman.

-His recliner at home? You guessed it. Hippie flesh and bone.

-You just don’t get it. This guy REALLY hates hippies.

-And terrorists too. Then again, there’s not much difference. I’ve heard terrorists smell a little better though.

-His goal in life? Take over the world, purge the hippies, and build a device that will scramble Ron Popeil in an egg.

EDIT: JimmyB killed Dr. Phat Tony’s paw.

All joking aside, Jimmy is a great guy and we’re glad to have him around here. Thanks for all you do, and thanks for being such a good sport!

I would counter with: Thank you, Steve!!!
And I apologize about Dr. Phat Tony's Paw.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A Tragedy.

Lost in Lima Ohio asked some bloggers to post about this tragic story.
Lost in Lima is a great place to keep apprised of the fight for children against predators of those children. She does an immense amount of work to keep this site current, and should be very proud of the work she does.
Go check her site out...

From Lost in Lima Ohio:

The Beating Death Of a Child

Michael Porter was arrested Thursday for the death of his two year old stepdaughter. He is accused of striking the little girl in the abdomen earlier in the week causing blunt force trauma and inflicting deadly wounds.
The little girl was described as having significant bleeding in her intestines and bruising on her ribs, the front of her chest, side and back. Records indicate that she had bruises in other areas of her body and medical examiners believe she suffered from possible kneeing, punching or squeezing.
Kelsey Smith Briggs dies hours before her father was due to return from serving in Iraq.
Port has recently filed divorce papers on Rae dawn Porter, the little girls mother.
The bond has been set for $1 million, after he plead not guilty in court Friday morning to charges that he killed the toddler, Kelsey Briggs. The judge in the case has issued a gag order for everyone in the case.

You may have to register
Video, grandparents speak out, grandmother report the abuse without any results. Custody was had for a limited time been granted to the grandparents, who show evidence of the little girls abuse dating back months.

Video, History of abuse, child dies hours before her father returns home from Iraq. Death ruled homicide. Judge overruled DHS recommendations.

Video, mothers side of the family, reaction to stepfather, seemed like such a nice person. Home movies of the toddler, including one with her having two broken legs. Family wants to believe that Porter never meant to hurt her. Family puts blame on seizures- while admitting that they have never seen her have one.

For more posts on Kelsey as I follow the case:

UPDATE: Here's an update of info from Lost: Kesley Briggs.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Hooray! Ammo Day Is Here!!!

Help save the country, and the world!!!!
Go buy AT LEAST 100 ROUNDS of ammo today.
Show the companies and politicians where we stand.
Try to buy from your local gun dealer. They need business and love, just like everyone else!!!




Friday, November 18, 2005

Battle Cat

She ain't no Butterscotch, but she's still a talented conservative cat! And obviously well fed!
She has also been known to bite hippies.



Thursday, November 17, 2005

YEE-HAW!!! National Ammo Day is Saturday the 19th!
Let's clean out the stores folks!!
(Don't forget Buy A Gun Day is April 15th, too!)

From Kim and Mrs. du Toit's National Ammo Day/Week Site:

Another Year, Another Ammo Day/Week

In the very first year of National Ammo Day, we tried to track exactly how many rounds of ammo came into the public's possession on that day.

For various reasons, the closest estimate we could come up with was about ten million rounds.

In one day.

Now, much later, we expect that many millions more will be bought by you, our gun-owning friends, on or around November 19th, 2005.

There are several gun shows taking place around that time, and of course gun stores will be open on Saturday, November 19th -- so get out there and show the gun-fearing wussies that their attempts to disarm us will fail, forever.

Last year, there were three separate attempts to tax ammo sales (in California's case, the amount was pennies per cartridge), and while all such legislature has so far failed, let's not be overly-optimistic.

Remember, the more ammunition rests in civilian hands, the more impossible the task of civilian disarmament becomes.

Tell all your friends.

One hundred rounds, or more, on or around November 19th.

Buy a ton, and have some fun!! :)
(And be safe, too!)

Happy shooting.


It Is Time...

For the 29th Carnival of Comedy!!!

This week, it is over at my buddy Fitches place (Radioactive Liberty).

He did a great job on it, so go check teh funny for this week!!!

Is It Getting Chilly In Here?, asks Satan.

Liberals offering tax cuts?!?!?!?!
To individuals AND businesses?!?!?!?!
To stimulate their economy?!?!!??!

I am complete now.

(From The Brandon Sun.)

Mini-budget includes cuts to personal, business taxes

OTTAWA — The beleaguered Liberal government will promise significant cuts to personal income taxes and a sprinkling of corporate tax reductions today in a pre-election mini-budget that offers something for everyone.
Finance Minister Ralph Goodale will promise to lighten the tax burden on Canadians, reiterate an earlier plan to cut billions from corporate taxes and introduce other business tax changes as part of a broader plan to boost the economy, sources say.
‘‘There will be real specifics in terms of tax cuts … some approaches will be novel,’’ a government source told The Canadian Press.
Tax relief — particularly aimed at middle-class Canadians — will be highlighted in a weighty two-part document that will promise immediate measures as well as a longer-term plan to boost growth in the face of tough global competition and an aging population.
Dear liberal Democrats,

Please come out and brutally criticize you socialist liberal friends in the North for their ignorance and foolhardiness.


I'm waiting....

Still waiting....



Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Moment for Reflection...

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world, it is worth reflecting on a death which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 93.The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in.

And then the trouble started....

Hat-tip to BillR! (A true conservative. Dog!)



Is this a bad thing?

I am nerdier than 99% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

What are the odds that I can be so cool and still get this on a nerd test?



(The world may never know...)

This was a little distressing, I must admit.

I wonder if I have an artificially inflated cool-factor.
Is it possible I'm not as cool as I thought?
Has this shaken my faith in my inherent coolness?
Does my internal coolness monitoring system need to be derated!?!!?


Although, I suppose anything is possible (even if highly unlikely! ;) )

Go ahead and try it, nerd-boy (or girl)!
I know, I know.
These tests are gay.

But they're still fun...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Real Conversation at the Small-Town Gas Station

So, I go to the itty-bitty gas station in the itty-bitty town which I live beside (which is a great place, BTW!)

I fill my massive, American-made, V8, full-size pickup truck with gas. I laugh in spite at tree-huggers as the petroleum pours into the guts of my huge, 4WD man-truck.
Laughing in spite makes me happy.

I walk into the gas-station, looking quite dapper in my teaching duds, as I have just left the college (my part time job).
The following conversation ensues...

Lady At Counter (LAC): 99 cents for the smoked almonds. How much is that beer?
*points at 24 ounce can of el-cheapo 8.1% ALCOHOL can of beer.*

CUG: 99 cents.
*thinks to self - SWEEEEEEET! 8.1%!!! for a buck!!!*
(That was the actual price. Because I am a real Republican, I am honest, so I told her the truth.)

LAC: That'll be 2 dollars and 11 cents.

CUG: I had gas on that truck, too (points to the handsome, yet dumure, P/U truck).
*There is only one gas pump with a nozzle on each side; total two.*
I think I had 99 cents worth of gas, as well.

LAC: *Laughs* Yeh, right. That'll be $47.70 total.
*CUG hands lady his debit card*
LAC: Do you want a receipt for this?

CUG: Yes. Please.

LAC: Well, I always try to save a tree whenever I can.

CUG: I hate trees.

LAC: *Hesitating* What?

CUG: I hate trees. My grandfather was killed by a tree.

LAC: *blinks*
(Note: As I am typing, I just now finished the aforementioned can of beer. Mmmmmm.....beeeeeeer)

after a pause...
LAC: What?
*Now there is that, "oh crap, I just mightly insulted this guy" look.*

CUG: Yeah, my grandfather was killed by a falling tree, and now I hate all trees. My goal is to eradicate all of them.

LAC: *Stares with look of disbelief...*
*for quite some time*

CUG: I'm f***ing with you.

LAC: What?

CUG: I'm just messing with you. How much was it?

LAC: $47.70. *a wary look of relief on her face, if that's possible*
*CUG signs slip*

CUG: Thanks. Have a great evening.

LAC: Uh. You, too.

CUG: *outside* Heh.

Monday, November 14, 2005

The Carnival of True Liberties VI

Today, I am hosting the Carnival of True Liberties VI! Yay!

The Carnival is Jay's (from Stop the ACLU fame) idea. It is for any post that pertains to how our civil liberties are being stripped away via judicial activism, and of course, bashing the ACLU as the God-hating commie-pervert Nazis that they are.

In no particular order, here we go:

BobG at Sweet Spirits of Ammonia presents an overveiw of the ACLU finding "evil" wherever it can in Ambulance Chasers Of The ACLU. Maybe they should look in their own offices.

TrekMedic251 at Is This Life? presents Speak English!, where he discusses the merits of not renewing the Bilingual Voting Provisions of the Voting Rights Act. Some facts there I was unaware of, for sure. Scroll WAY down to find it!

Jay at Stop The ACLU presents the excellent Top Ten Reasons To Stop The ACLU. Thoughtfull and concise, it is a must read. (Jay is the man!!!)

NOTR at shows us a disturbing look into what the 9th Circuit thinks is appropriate to teach, whether you like it or not, in Sex, Kids & 9th "Circus Court".
Man I hate the 9th Circus! "There is no fundamental right of parents to be the exclusive provider of information regarding sexual matters to their children."! And you thought you were in charge...

The MaryHunter at TMH's Bacon Bits gives us a disturbing look at the state's abuse of power, and the conspicuous absence of the ACLU in Limbaugh and Doctor-Patient Privilege.
Selective protections, anybody? (They were there at first, then disappeared!)

Neal Phenes at Et Tu Bloge presents Roe and the Commerce Clause.
Neal shows the true flaw in many of our laws AND lawmakers. The subversion of the ever important, and much ignored, Commerce Clause.

Lastly, there is ME! The Conservative UAW Guy presents History Lesson: Evil Bedfellows. Not anywhere near the caliber of what the above posters produced, but what the heck!
A great job by all (I will reserve judgement on my own offering). Please visit and comment to these folks, who are doing important work.
Thanks to Jay and Stop the ACLU for letting me be a part of this Carnival.
You are doing God's work, bro.
I am honored, and humbled.

This was a production of Stop The ACLU Blogburst. If you would like to join us, please email Jay at or Gribbit at You will be added to our mailing list and blogroll. Over 115 blogs already onboard.

History Lesson: Evil Bedfellows

Remember kids, Roger says,
"I am for socialism, disarmament, and, ultimately, for abolishing the state itself... I seek the social ownership of property, the abolition of the propertied class, and the sole control of those who produce wealth. Communism is the goal."
Margaret Sanger, darling of Planned Parenthood and the left, said of Roger,
"The name Roger Baldwin and Civil Liberties are synonymous in the minds of all people in the United States. You have fought the good fight, Roger."
Here's a little tidbit from good old Margaret herself on eugenics,

"We should hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds, and with engaging personalities. The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We don't want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population. and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members."
Margaret Sanger's December 19, 1939 letter to Dr. Clarence Gamble, 255 Adams Street, Milton, Massachusetts. Original source: Sophia Smith Collection, Smith College, North Hampton, Massachusetts. Also described in Linda Gordon's Woman's Body, Woman's Right: A Social History of Birth Control in America. New York: Grossman Publishers, 1976.

Can you say evil, racist, smelly, leftist, dirty-pinko's kids? That's right, I thought you could.
These are the original dirty-hippies and rabid, hate-filled lefties.

Their work continues on to this day.
They have a following.
A well-funded following.

Is it any wonder that the ACLU and Planned Parenthood are comrades?
And unfortunately, these people's legacies endure in an "enlightened" society...

Please don't give money or credibility to these racist, godless-commie groups. They are no different now than they were then. Well, except maybe more evil.

Sorry, not funny, just depressing.

McCarthy was right.


This was a production of Stop The ACLU Blogburst. If you would like to join us, please email Jay at or Gribbit at You will be added to our mailing list and blogroll. Over 115 blogs already onboard.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Thank You, God.

It is GORGEOUS outside.

71 degrees (American), sunny, blue skies with just a few wisps of what may be clouds, but haven't decided to commit to cloudom yet.

I kick up a rabbit while driving my tractor. He's the standard brown and white flavor we have here. Young. Under a year. Cute.

The pond needs attention, but it still looks ok.
My freshly shorn lawn leads right up to the edge of the woods.
The trees are almost bereft of leaves now.
A few hold-outs remain.
The woods, though barren, still looks friendly and inviting.
Truly a show-stopper of a day.

My wife comes home (very) late and I good-naturedly berate her because I was worried about her.
She is beautiful. Inside and out.
I'm so glad she's home.

My daughter drops by; I think she still lives here.
She is beautiful, too.
I am so very happy and grateful they are home and safe.
I'm so proud of them.

No reasons in particular. Just happy they are here.
I love them so much it is painful sometimes.

I look at my surroundings.
At my life.
Not perfect, but part of a perfect system.
Not painless, or certain.
Not without worry (esp in the auto industry!), but life nonetheless.

As I dwell on it all, I laugh a little.

There are many out there that thing this whole world, nay the whole universe, is an accident.
Love is just chemicals and instinct and weakness.

There ain't no way.

I couldn't even buy that "accident" crap when I was an angry borderline atheist.
Oh, I'd spout it, but I knew I was wrong.

Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Lord. (With apologies to the Rolling Stones, but no sarcasm in my iteration).



Friday, November 11, 2005

Thank You!!!

Today is Veterans' Day.
In honor of that, I would like to give a heart-felt

Thank You!

and a

God Bless!

I can't even put into words how proud and grateful I feel every time I think about our service people, past and present and future. Thanks to our allies, too.

And to the people wishing for our defeat, that try to denigrate, demoralize, demonize, and slander our soldiers, sc##w you.

That really about says it all.


Thursday, November 10, 2005

Teh Funny is Back!

The Carnival of Comedy is up again!

This time, your host is tommy from Striving for Average!
He's also a fellow union brother (which I did not know!).
So go over there or he'll bust your kneecaps!

Check out all the great stuff there!
(I know you already read my entry! ;) )

I'm In Shock and Awe.

The terrorist attacks in Amman apparently have links to radical Islam.

That shoots down my theory that is was angry Republican parapalegic Buddhist midgets.

And I was so sure...
Who'd have thunk it?

Not Again!

Oh, no!
I've been accepted as an occasional guest-writer on another site (again).

This time, it's a LIBERAL chick's site!

Sorry, just kidding. I'm not a misogynist. Well, not much.
I'm not kidding about the liberal part, however!
The good news is that Moonbatty is a friendly lib (as opposed to a hate-filled lefty type) with a pretty cool site.

What started it is here:


(An excerpt):
I’ve opened my blog up to allow guest-posts by certain people. If you wish to be included on that list of certain people, just let me know. Please understand that certain posts (such as those that claim Karl Rove is God, Bush is a good person, or other blatant falsehoods) will incur my rage.
Also. uh. Try to have a topic in mind when you post...
My response:

If you let me post, I’ll only post the truth!


Email me with a rejection notice at your leisure.

1. Karl Rove is not God.
Rush Limbaugh is.
Oh, wait! Sorry Jesus, it was just a joke!

2. Bush is way too liberal to be a good person.
He’s just, “Ok”.

3. Heh.

4. I always have a topic!

Moonbatty replies:

Your version of the truth makes me queasy.. But.. Hrm.. Ok!
::promotes you for the hell of it::

(She so cracks me up!)

And finally, my acceptance speech *sniff* (I'd like to thank the Academy...):

Hooray! Guest Post by jimmyb

Moonbattie has honored me (really!) by allowing me to do an occasional (and short!) guest post.

This shows not only that MB has unparalleled taste and class, but she is also not afraid of differing opinions. Fur-sur!

Anybody who has read our respective material realizes that once we are past the basic pragmatism, our opinions differ mightily at times (most times?).

Just let me say that MB is one of the coolest libbies I have met in the dodecahedron for some time. Intelligent, respectful, thoughtful, misguided…oops. I mean…uhhhh…..well…
I guess that’ll be another post.

Of course I, as a guest blogger, am willing and ready to incur MB’s wrath, which will be swift, succinct and mighty, I am sure.

To quote a guy that is NOT A GOOD PERSON - Bring it on! (That was Bush, not when Kerry stole it!)

In all seriousness, I’d like to thank MB for the honor, and her readers for not killing me!

Regards, and see you in the near future,

CUG (jimmyb)

PS - Click on CUG to see who I am if you don’t know.
A thousand apologies for the shameless blog-whoring.
(Am I allowed to say that on this site?)

So what's the synopsis?

Well, of course, it is get over to Moonbatty's and check her out and say howdy.
With your help, she'll be a registered Libertarian (if not a Republican) in short order!!!
Help save the planet, yo! Convert a moonbat today!!! ;)


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Rioting Begins to Slack Off in France

Rioting Begins to Slack Off in France

Is this because they're running out of things to set afire?

French Logic

Appeasement Squirrel says,
"I'm shooting bullets of understanding, good will, welfare, and political correctness.
And still the onslaught continues.
Sacre Bleu!!!Maybe the Americans will save us!"

Q: What do you do to people that riot and cause violence?

A: Give them more free stuff than you already are!!

(Hat-tip to BC for the picture!)

This post is linked to Stop the ACLU:

Middle of the Week Open Trackbacks