Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I Can See Clearly Now...

Q: Why does Cindy Sheehan blame Bush and the Jooooos for her son's death?

A: Because if she blamed terrorists, her friends on the left would call her a paranoid, intolerant, racist hatemonger. And no one wants to be deemed intolerant!

Top reasons Bush and/or the Jooooos killed Cindy's son, Casey:

1. They saw how well "Oil for Food" worked, they decided that "Blood for Oil" would work even better.

2. To piss off hippies.

3. To reap profits for the Underpants Gnomes military-industrial complex.

4. Casey discovered the "Blood for Oil" Halichimpy program, and was going to blow the whistle.

5. For Chanukah (which, as we all know, requires human sacrifices).

6. Because the Republican weather machine only runs on the blood of heros (it is actually located beneath a high-tech cenotaph!).

7. Because the Joooos hate everyone.

8. Because Bushitler McChimpistan hates everyone.

9. Because the Facist in Chief is a Texan, Christian, cowboy, warmongering Jooooooooo!

10. Ok, 9 might be a little bit of a stretch.


12. Because Karl Rove willed it.

I hope this has cleared up any confusion people might have had.

This educational information comes to you courtesy of the industrial-capitalist-military-puppy-blending machine of CUG Industries, LLC.

No comments: