Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Movin' On Up

Note to self: Mark on the calender that I (for once!) beat Wyatt at something.
Other note: Wyatt said I would brag for a week, so quit bragging after 6 days....

I took 3rd place (to Wyatt's 4th) in GOP and the City's fantabulous Weekend Caption Contest.

Still gunning for the top spot.
Stoopid Photoshoppers...
(Although, admittedly, they were pretty funny!)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Minute Man.

The CUG nephew is off to a good start with Grandpa's shootin' iron!

Posing with a Savage 17 HMR bolt-action rifle.
Awesomely accurate, not much recoil, and FAST!!!

Groundhogs tremble in fear!!!
Terrorists might want to take note as well...

Also, don't worry about safety, as it is pointed in a safe direction (at a hippy).

Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Carnival of Bauer is Here!!!

Crossposted from Blogs 4 Bauer: (by RTFR).

Announcing The Carnival of Bauer™!!!

We've been getting a lot of requests lately to link to peoples' specific 24-related posts, and a few from people who want to join Blogs4Bauer as a contributor. If we honored all of these requests, the content on these pages would explode, and no one would be able to sort through it all. So, instead, The Man and I have decided to initiatiate a weekly Carnival of Bauer™!!!

It's going to be held every Thursday, and will link to any posts that you submit to us by 12:00 AM the day before (Wednesday), with a very few exceptions:
  • Posts must be 24-related;
  • Posts must be more than just a summary of a particular episode (commentary, analysis, humorous summary, etc. is acceptable); and,
  • Posts must satisfy our high standards (they can't suck)
So if you've got a post that you want included in next week's edition of The Carnival of Bauer™, then send:
  • The title of the post;
  • A permalink to the post;
  • Your name (blog pseudonyms are acceptable);
  • Your email address; and
  • A brief summary of the content of the post (don't make it more than a couple of sentences or I'll ban you from the Carnival of Bauer™ forever).
to Blogs4Bauer@gmail.com with the subject line "Carnival of Bauer" and you will be included.

So get posting, and get submitting to The Carnival of Bauer™!!!

UPDATE [2/24/2006]: Oh, and just in case you're wondering, posts about Kim are always acceptable. Especially if they include pictures...

Since there's been some complaining about the quality of my previous Kim picture, I'll provide you with one of my personal favorites instead. (If you'd like to review the original picture, click here.)

Get to it now!!! :)
See you at the Carnival (of Bauer!).

Friday, February 24, 2006

A Real Conversation in a VRWC Household

The following conversation took place between a conservative, and a CUGStar operator:

brotherb (my brother):
Are you going to church tomorrow?
Weellll.... I was thinking about going to the gun show tomorrow.
Does God understanding missing church to go to a gun show?
I would think He would...

What gun show is it?
The Montpelier one.
He wouldn't understand not going for that crappy one.

So let me get this straight. The size and quality of the gun show dictate if you can skip church to go to it or not?

Yeah. Pretty much.

Huh. Who’da thunk it?.

(I ended up going anyway. I mean, crappy is such a subjective word….
Also, I got a couple of pretty sweet new magazines for the MK II pistol, and I'm pretty sure The Big Guy is a Ruger fan!)

CUGStar - Conservative answers, for an increasingly conservative (thank God) world....

Carnival Time!

The Carnival of Comedy is up at my buddy Damian's place, Conservathink.
Time to go check out "teh funny"!
See you there! :)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Forced Abortions

Hiya folks! Remember that slippery slope that libs say doesn't exist?

I just thought I'd let you know that Margaret Sanger is alive and well and living in Holland!
Planned Parenthood must be beside themselves right now.
Maybe they'll try to get her to run for office over here!
She'd be a shoo-in in LA or NY!

Let us fisk...
(Bold left-justified mine. ed)

From WorldNet Daily:

Mandatory abortion proposed in Holland

A health official in the Netherlands has called for a debate on the idea of forced abortion and contraception to deal with what she sees as a crisis of unwanted children.

I have some unwanted hippies and a few commies.
Is that cool, too?

Alderman Marianne van den Anker of the Leefbaar Rotterdam Party wants specifically to target communities of Antilleans and Arubans where she sees the biggest problems of unwanted children.
Read: foreigners/minorities/poor people.
Unwanted by whom, by the way? Maybe they are wanted by someone else.

Van den Anker is a mother of two children and the official in charge of Rotterdam's health and security portfolios.
I'll bet those kids don't back-talk their mom!!!

In an interview in a newspaper Saturday, she said she had tried everything to prevent child abuse.
"I fail, I fail," she told the interviewer as she outlined her controversial idea for a debate on compulsory abortion and contraception.

She is correct. Killing children will prevent them from being abused.
(Eds. note: This seems a tad harsh, and maybe even ironic.)

The target groups for her program are Antillean teenage mothers; drug addicts and people with mental handicaps, she said, according to a report in Expatica.

Two of those groups are directly from Hitler's playbook.
Maybe she'll decide to abort Joooooos and homosexuals later, too.
Or do they count as mentally handicapped already, Marianne?

According to the report, Van den Anker said children from these groups run an "unacceptable risk" of growing up without love and with "violence, neglect, mistreatment and sexual abuse."
"The exceptions," she said, "and there are some, can be counted on a pair of hands."
Note to self: get training to do "unacceptable risk" assessment. I need to have the power of life and death.

Odd. When it comes to the death penalty, the EU folks and liberals say there is a chance the innocent (the "exceptions") may be executed, as an argument against it. According to her, a few dead exceptions are acceptable.
I think I like the "children from these groups" line the best. Is that like saying "those people"?

Van den Anker pointed to the growing number of Antillean youth gangs in Rotterdam whose members come from loveless homes.
If you really love them, kill them.

Hmmmm... I smell a bumper-sticker for the '08 Democratic presidential campaign!!!
IT'S MINE, DAMMIT!!! Copyright right-freakin'- now by CUG Industries!!!

With a little digging, I found some more of this story.
From Expatica:

Abort 'unloved' Antilleans, says Rotterdam politician

The politician told the newspaper the courts would decide on whether abortion was the right option.
So much for less government.

The decision would be based on experts and care workers who "who can see in 95 percent or even 100 percent of cases whether the child has a chance of growing up with love".

The hiring pool is being derived from the "Psychic Friends" employee listing.

Uh yeah, government "experts" that are right 95-100% of the time.


Van den Anker supported her argument by suggesting that there were a lot of Antillean youth gangs in Rotterdam whose members come from loveless homes. The gangs, she said, committed rapes, were loverboys (pimps) and guilty of street terror.

Wow. The "loveless" connection.
Classic. I'll bet she watched Dr. Phil once.
In our country, people usually "support" arguments with idiotic things like "facts", and "studies" and stuff.
Although I'll grant that "suggesting" is darn near as good.

You know, I actually don't have a problem killing pert-near anyone, regardless of ethnicity, after or during violent crimes, but this whole pre-emptive (by 15 or so years) thing just doesn't sit well with me.
See what you started, Bush!!!

"Antillean youths who commit serious crimes have been through everything themselves. History repeats itself and they visit the tragedy of their life history on others," she said.
Yeah, Hilter was big into eugenics, ethinic cleansing, social engineering and socialism.
You're living proof history repeats itself.

And liberals want us to be more like Europe?
I think not.

Now where did I put those commies....?

Now THAT'S Funny.

Good one.
The guy is even a self-proclaimed liberal.
From WND:

Student under fire for yelling:
'Remember Chappaquiddick!'

Self-described liberal hollers phrase as Kennedy begins on-campus speech

A community college student in Massachusetts faces possible disciplinary action for shouting "Remember Chappaquiddick!" during an on-campus speech by Democrat Sen. Edward Kennedy.

Paul Trost, 20, a student at Massasoit Community College in Brockton, Mass., says he was upset by an introduction of Kennedy given by Rep. Stephen Lynch, D-Mass., in which the congressman noted how the long-time senator overcame hardship in life on his way to success.

Hardship? All those private schools and a rich daddy must be a real pain to endure.

Oh, yeah; getting away with killing someone scott-free must be pretty rough, too.

Poor rich Teddy.

Go read the whole thing here.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


5th place in GOP and The City's weekly Weekend Caption Contest.

And no sign of Wyatt...

I Surrender!

I've noticed since about 90 days after 9-11 that the MSM, Hollyweird, Europe, and most Democratic politicians seem to think that denial, surrender, appeasement, and general ass-kissing regarding those who seek to destroy us are sound policies for the country, and also constitute reasonable strategies for personal defense.

In that spirit, I have decided to give in to the dark forces of Dr. Phat Tony, and Wyatt Earp, in our ongoing battle for 2nd tier blogododecahedron niche supremacy.

So, to appease my enemies, I have compiled a list of reasons you need to visit Dr. Phat Tony and Wyatt's Support Your Local Gunfighter (SYLG): , or "Relatively Clean Aspersions About SYLG and DPT":

1. Visiting these sites lowers the levels greenhouse gasses in the atomosphere. You do care about glaciers and polar bears, don't you?

2. Studies have show that laughing uproariously at these sites strengthens the heart muscle, and also gives you rock-hard abs.

3. Chicks dig rock hard abs....

4. Going to the SYLG and DPT sites raises your IQ index by an average of 12 points.
Unless you're a hippy.
Then you just get pissed off.

5. The DPT and SYLG sites help reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
Why is that?
Because I said so.

6. These sites, if visited 6 days a week, will make your teeth 4 shades whiter
(use only as directed).
Disclaimer: I use the term whiter only as an adjective, and not as any kind of racial statement - please do not call me a racist or sue me.

7. Of the two, only DPT has swag. This remains a mystery...

8. Frequenting these sites will also make certain parts of your body bigger, and other parts smaller, on men and women!
In a good way.

9. You know what I mean.

10. Wyatt and the Doc are committed to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Even if that pursuit involves humpback midgets, poo, hockey, or stalking Uber.
Consider the Constitution safe.

So this is my official surrender.
Now you'll be nice to me, right?

Man, I hope this garners better results than what the left has gotten from terrorists!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

No Static At All....

(Please note that FMRagtops blog is black in color, which makes this very funny...
errr...to me.)

With MASSIVE apologies to AC/DC!
(Whom I've seen several times! Yay!)
To the tune of Back In Black, by AC/DC:

Back in black
He ain't on crack
He' s been gone too long
I'm glad that he's back

He's got a blog
in our gang
when he quit bloggin' we all said, "Well Dang!"

But now he's back in the groove, and he's makin' his move
nobody does posts like that and then dream interprets too

So just look at him now, and then hear what he say
Tell all the leftard bloggers to get out of his way

Cause he's BACK
FM's back!
Yes he's back!
FM's back.

Cause he's baaa aaa a aaaaack etc.

Back in black
FM's back in blaaaaaack!!


Outa sight!!!!

Please help me welcome Fmragtops back to the blogododecahedron!!
He's been on hiatus since mid-December.

Welcome back, yo!
(Did you catch the title of the post? Bonus points if you got it without searching it!)

Ok, now break's over!
Now get wit Teh Funny, FM!!!!!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Wedded Bliss!

My buddy Steve (not his real name!) at Steve the Pirate married a midget!!!
As you are aware, I occasionally guest-blog at his site.

Please stop over and wish him and the missus (a piratette?) a long and happy life.

Congrats, Steve and Mrs. Steve!
God bless!!!

How to Spot Terrorist Organizations

I was watching Toledo news last night, and there was a story about a charity (we'll see) called Kind Hearts in Toledo being shut down by the Feds for supporting terrorist organizations.

So, if you are wondering if you have an organization that may be supporting terrorism in your neighborhood, the CUG Headline News staff has amassed the

10. Their sign on the front is painted with "the blood of infidels".

9. The help-wanted sign in the window says "Jooooos need not apply!".

8. There are specially marked parking spots for the CEO, the handicapped, economy cars, and car bombs.

7. Headless bodies of unbelievers in the dumpster out back.

6. Large crates labeled "HATE", "MISOGYNY", and "INTOLERANCE" are delivered and carried into the building at all hours of the day and night.

5. Cancelled checks from the organization are written to Hamas, and say

"to topple the great Satan and kill all infidels and Joooos in the name of Allah (peace be upon him) and the religion of peace"

in the For (memo) part at the bottom of the check.

4. A poster on the bulletin board invites everyone to the embassy burning on Friday.
BYOB (bring your own burka).

3. When a guy walks into the office with a bomb-vest on,
the other people in the office say, "Hi, (Al-) Fred!".

2. When the books don't balance, they blame the Joooooos!

1. The guy that runs the place has a first name of Jihad, and is a lawyer to boot.

You know what's kind of funny is that number one is true.

Of course, if you see bumper-stickers in the parking lot that say "God Bless Hitler", that can be a clue, too!

Hope this helps you keep YOUR neighborhood safe in the future!! :)
Now I have to go check how my daughter, Smitinghippies, is doing.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

So, They Like Bush, Right?

Here is proof that George W. Bush is doing a hell of a job!!

Using flawless liberal/lefty/loony-tard logic, I proffer this formula from KOS/DU/HAMAS/TALIBAN/Democratic Party thinking:

George Bush is a facist and a murderer.
Hitler was a facist and a murderer.
Therefore: Bush = Hitler (or BusHilter, if you will!)

Looking at this picture, I must then assume that protesting Muslims love George Bush, and wish God to bless him!
Now see! You just can't argue logic like that! He really is a uniter and not a divider!

Thanks to Little Green Footballs for the picture and story!

Friday, February 17, 2006

It's Baaaack!

It's time for the latest e-postal match, Seein' Stars, over at Mr. Completely's!

Here are the classifications:

CLASS ONE: Rim fire. Any rimfire handgun with no more than a 12" barrel, any sight.

CLASS TWO: Center fire. Any centerfire (non-revolver) handgun with no more than a 12" barrel, any sight.

CLASS THREE: Revolver. Any revolver with no more than a 12" barrel, any sight.

CLASS FOUR: Any rifle with a barrel 20" or less, any caliber, any un-magnified sight.

Class One, Two, or Three: 25 feet, or Ten yards, which ever is available at your range.

Alright, kids; get those shooting irons out and punch some holes in the nice paper!
Remember, all entries must be received by Midnight on Monday, February 27th!!
So go to the range and get to blasting, and of course, be careful!

Get the complete info over at Mr. Completely's!!
Now go shoot for the stars!!!! Seein' Stars!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Filthy Lies About Wyatt.

A "Mr." Wyatt Earp not only beat me out of first place in the Best Personal Blog award, over at Bloggin' Out Loud, but likewise in the most recent GOP and the City's unparalleled and cool Weekend Caption Contest.

This is obviously a conspiracy to have people with a better product and more talent come out ahead in the free market.
We can not have this. It isn't fair.
Phhhht. Competition.

Therefore, I am calling my committeeman.
I'm a union guy, and I have seniority over Wyatt in the blogododecahedron.
If my grievance avails me nothing, I may have to strike.
This could get ugly....

So, with full (perceived) justification and an abundance of self-righteous indignation, I present these filthy lies about Wyatt (from Support Your Local Gunslinger):

1. Wyatt's name is a nickname derived from him saying "Why Not", all the time.
Like "Why not vote for Democrats and hippies?", and "Why not murder hobos and truck-stop prostitutes?."

2. Wyatt once claimed he sweated butter, but really he sweats margarine, which has tons of triglycerides, and is far more hazardous to humans and kittens.


3. Wyatt was once seen leaving a Kmart- with a Michael Moore film he purchased!!!

4. Wyatt was promoted to detective.
No word on the other six mysteriously missing cops that were up for the same job.....

5. Wyatt blogs for Blogs 4 Bauer, but secretly is glad Kim is gone (YOU BASTARD!!!).

6. Wyatt is from Philly, a known haven for commies and libs. It is called the "City of Brotherly Love" which is Philly street-code for "We love Chairman Mao!!".

7. Wyatt was the second shooter in Texas....
Twice (1963, 2006).

8. I'm not saying there's graft in the Philly PD, but a Lamborghini, Wyatt??

9. Best Personal Blog award? How about the
"I'm In League with the Dark Overlord, Big Oil, Baby-Seal Clubbers, and the Mob, So No One Can Beat Me" award?

10 Although he blogs for Blogs 4 Bauer, Wyatt is actually a huge fan of "Will and Grace" because it is quote "well written, and tackles the important political and social issues of our time", and "that sassy Jack is just so darned charming!".
This may explain his unexpressed glee over the fact that Kim is missing from 24.

11. Wyatt Earp's last name sounds like a belch, which is disgusting.
Funny, but disgusting.

12. Remember that movie "From Justin to Kelly"?
Yep. Wyatt.
I hope this has unduly influenced you to vote for ME next time, and not that other dude!!!

I'm jimmyb and I fabricated approved this message.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

It's Always Something.

Should I laugh or cry?

As we recall in the ongoing adventures of jimmyb sucking at the shooting competition, a few weeks ago, the shock-buffer in the old Gold Cup took a poop (to put it mildy) adversely affecting the final score in the center-fire competition (which was a measly 127 0X, 300 being a perfect score).

To top this mechanical failure, last week, my brand-new ATN Ultrasite broke right at the beginning of the competition. Of course, my practice went ok; it just broke when I started shooting for real.


Panic mode. 10 out of 100 points on the first target (of 3). Shooting open sights now, with a scope rail above the sites making a lovely low-light condition for my poor eyes. AAAHHHGGGGG!
Will these mechanical failures never end?!?!?

Second target (timed, this time). Something shy of 40 points (33? 37?).
Steam coming out of my ears.
But, I have no choice but to carry on; stiff upper lip and all.

The rapid fire target is last (5 shots in 10 seconds, twice. One handed, 50 feet).
Then I shot THIS!

This is the best one I've ever shot in actual competition.
I still ended up with only a 130 2x because of the first two targets, but dang!

Maybe I should shoot open sites all the time.
After testing, I do better scoped still.
Man, if I could shoot 3 like that consistenly....!!!

But with some coaching (THANKS H AND D!!!), and practice, I am starting to get some decent scores in practice.
And in this week's competition I beat my all of my scores in rimfire and centerfire both!

As of week 7 (note the last scores of each!!! I broke 200 in centerfire! Yay!):

Rimfire: 184 1X, 199, 230, 194 2X, 237 1X, 214 1X, 260 2X (woo-hoo!).

Centerfire: 96, 188 1X, 136 1X, 184 1X, 127, 130 2X, 205 2X (getting there).
A big thanks again to H and D for the coaching!!! Yee-Haw!!!

Beaten By Wyatt!!!

I took fourth place at GOP and the City's fun and fantastic Weekend Caption Contest!

Unfortunately, I was bested by Wyatt, over at Support Your Local Gunfighter.
(It was very funny, though!)

Didn't I just get beat by him in something?

Hmmmmmm. I may have to make up some filthy lies about Wyatt to stop this trend...

Go check out the Weekend Caption Contest, though. It definitely has "teh funny"!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006



So young, so innocent.

Dr. Phat Tony (who sells great SWAG!) posted this same pic on a post called "Oh, The Humanity" (what I originally titled this!).

The Doc (who sells great SWAG!) was kind enough to let me know about this via a trackback to the original post.
I checked it out. Hell!!! I even commented on it!!!

Just goes to show you that great minds think alike.
I just hope the Dr's great mind (and great SWAG!) doesn't have the same stoopid defect mine does!!

Still, thanks to BillR for emailing me the pic.
And a 1000 apologies to Dr. Phat Tony (who sells great SWAG!).


Monday, February 13, 2006

Decisions, Decisions...

And the feminists and liberals pick which one? (We already know the answer.)
Does pro-choice mean to give a woman a right to defend herself?
Or just the right to kill the unborn.

Depends who you ask.

No wonder rapists prefer feminists.
And liberal organizations.

Remember, every time you vote for a gun control proponent, a rapist smiles (evilly, I might add).

Keep in mind the liberal creed, kids:
A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

Come on libs! Be pro-women, like me!!
If it saves just one life it's worth it. Right?

Let's see more dead rapists and chicks with smoking guns.
Yay! Dead rapists are the best kind!!!

Be honest. In a pinch, which would you rather have; the retarded, unconstitutional Violence Against Women act, or a nice cold steel .357 magnum ejecting some sweet, sweet semi-jacketed hollow-point defense loads speeding along at 1200 feet per second to introduce a rapist his deserved destiny?

Which would the rapist rather you have?

Dear rapists:
Take two of these (orally or center mass), and see you in hell.

This message brought to you by a guy who cares about women, and not some socialist agenda to disarm victims.

Poster courtesy of A Human Right, of course. (Oleg Volk rocks!)

Heh. The Range.

Thanks to Contagion at Miasmatic Review for turning me on to this video!!

I think I can sum it up best this way: Yee-Haw!!!
I want to go to that picnic!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Practical English Lessons for Life.

Hey y'all!
Your buddy jimmyb is here with some more English lessons and translations for you.
Today, we're going to look at the phrase:

"I'm going to the range."

Now, if you're a red-state Amurkin like me, that means you are going to go shooting.
At a shooting range.
With real firearms. That are mostly made in America.
And maybe you're wearing a cowboy or baseball hat. And a "These Colors Don't Run" t-shirt.
In a pickup truck, mahap. That actually has real mud on it. And it was made in America.

Now of course, in a country as diverse as the good ol' US-of-Terrorist-A$-Kickin'-A, the phrase, I'm going to the range, can mean something other than the original meaning the the good Lord intended.

Here are some examples of alternate meanings of this phrase, based on the group uttering it:

"I'm Going to the Range"

: This can have different meanings, depending on context, but is generally translated as one of the following -

"I'm going over to my drug dealer's house to score" or it can mean

"I'm heading down to the methadone clinic" or

"I'm going to the park to get some free needles from those nice Democrats, and shoot heroin in front of nuns and school-children" or

"Bush Lied, Kids Died".
Stoopid freakin' hippies.


"I'm going down to the Planned Parenthood abortion clinic to exercise my completely hidden but undeniable constitutional right to rip this evil clump of parasitic cells from my temple of a body.
I feel so free and empowered."

The Unibomber: He's heading to a cabin in a mountain range to worship Al Gore.

The Wife:

"I'm going over to the stove to make you some soup and a grilled cheese sammich."
(Heh. Just kidding sweety!)

The Husband: Refers to the aforementioned shooting outing, or

"I'm going over to the stove to make you some soup and a grilled cheese sammich, because I know you're mad about the gun I bought without telling you" or

"I'm going over to the stove to make you some soup and a grilled cheese sammich, because I know you're mad about the last sammich joke I just made at your expense".

Military: This generally refers to the artillery range; meaning:

"I'm going to go blow stuff up. It will be cool."

Cowboy: He's really going to the range (like Home On the Range.)

Hollywood Cowboy: He's going out for some clandestine, hot man-on-man psuedo-cowboy action (like Homo On the Range).
(Eds note: Eewww.)

Well there you have it. Not only darned humorous, but immensely educational as well.
Your edification is my priority here at The Conservative UAW Guy website.

If you have some other definitions, put them in the comments!

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Copyright CUG Educational Industries, a division of the Evil Conservative Global Domination Corporation, 2006.

Milblog Conference

The milbloggers, Kit and Heidi, at Euphoric Reality need to get to the Milblog conference in DC.
And they need your help:

There's a PayPal link at the top left for you to donate to their cause.
Plus, there are going to be a bunch of way-cool Milbloggers there!
Stop on over and check it out.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Dear Hats.

Dear US leftist asshat politicians (and you know who you are, Kerry et al):

Is the draft back yet?
I was just checking. You seemed so sure...

A Member of the Real, Reality-Based Community.


Because of a Cartoon? DEATH TO TED RALL!

UPDATE: Bad link fixed.

I don't see what the big deal is about the Mohammed cartoons.
He looks sort of cute, in a Brutus from Popeye kind of way.

Don't you think?
(Any libs want to give me the "I'm-all-for-free-speech-
but-not- if-it-offends speech?)

Now if there is a fatwa against me, does that mean I get more hits on my website?
That would totally rule!!!
Mohammed is da bomb!!!
(Ok. I'm apologize for that one. But talk about a target-rich environment!
I couldn't help it!)

If someone drew a comic of a Popeyesque Jesus whooping Mohammed's Brutus-like a##, while He was saying, I YAM what I YAM (or I YAM, WHO YAM), I would be offended, but not to the point of violence.
Well, not much violence anyway. I'd probably just back-hand a marxist or a hippy.
I thought this sage:

If your opponent is quick to anger, seek to irritate him--Sun Tzu

Some are quicker to anger than others, apparently...

Anyhoo, here is a quote from an official spokesman spokesperson (sorry NOW!) for the "Religion of Pieces" (from the BBC):

"They want to test our feelings," protester Mawli Abdul Qahar Abu Israra told the BBC.

"They want to know whether Muslims are extremists or not.

Death to them and to their newspapers," he said.

Holy crap! That's so funny I thought I made it up myself!
But it is real.
Ya just can't make up classic lines like that; they have to come from the heart (of a murderous thug). The body count is still rising, BTW. Koran flushing, anyone?

Yeah Abdul, you don't seem extreme at all. Death to infidels?
Sounds like normal political discouse to me.

I'm with ya bro! I get all fired up about Ted Rall cartoons.
Way to get your point across.
I feel your pain...

Here are some more "peace" protesters. I lost count of how many countries this is going on in.
See the whole collection of these pics at Euphoric Reality.
The images will make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

Gee, I'm just not "feeling the peace", dawgs.
Note key words like "exterminate", "slay", "butcher", "massacre", and my favorite peace-lovin' word - "behead (WARNING - GRAPHIC)".

We may only have one year left.

FAIR AND BALANCED (That's my middle name!):

To be fair, here is an exhaustive list and some pictures (all I could find) of Muslims gathering at peace demonstrations and vigils to denounce the violence, hatred, and death being done in the name of Islam:

(Insert list and images here when available......)

Uhhhhh. Ok, I couldn't find any.

But anyway, here is a list and pics of anti-hate, anti-violence, anti-war liberals and hippies denouncing said violence and hate, and likewise denouncing the leaders that espouse it:

(Insert list and images here when available......)

Well, errrrr.... Ok, I couldn't find any of those either, but I did try.
Stoopid Google! That stuff probably got deleted off of the Internet by the Jooooooos!
I did find one link at Right Hand of God, a little couple page site called: We Are Sorry (to Norway and Denmark). Nice to know there are some out there.

In Closing:

By the way, here's some info for any of you offended by this post.
If you didn't come out incensed and critical regarding:

A: "Piss Christ" (the famous "art" piece photo of a crucifix submerged in urine ) and

B: "The Holy Virgin Mary" (the one using elephant dung and pornographic images),

or worse, defended those as just "controversial" and cutting-edge art (although I'll grant they are protected by the Constitution) and criticized anyone who deemed those offensive as boorish, backward types, then you're a hypocrite, and you get to join the official, "CUG STFU Club"! Yay!!!
Membership is free!!!

I didn't see any Christians rioting over those "art" pieces, just liberals cooing and fawning over them.
By the way, you liberal defenders of radical Islam, go ask those folks burning our flag (we didn't even do it this time!!!) how they feel about abortion, women's rights, gang rapes, honor killings, open sexuality, Hollywood, free speech and gay marriage.
You might find you're on opposing ends of some of those issues.
Also, make sure your will is up to date before you go.

When did the image rule about Mohammed get passed any way?

It must have been recently, as you can see here at Zombie Time.

Much ado about nothing, perhaps? Or maybe an insidious GW Bush plot!!!
We shall see.

C'mon, Abdul. Can't we all just get along?

Four Things.

Alan Woody over at Woody's News and Views tagged me.

(Woody's answers to the same are here.)

Well, here they are:


Four jobs that you have had in your life: carry-out (beer technician), engineer, electrician, teacher, commie-smiter

Four movies that you could watch over and over: The Wall, The Patriot, Resident Evil, Resevior Dogs

Four places that you've lived: Ohio (Dayton, Columbus, Xenia area), Milwaukee.

Four TV shows you love to watch: 24, Scrubs, Foresic Files, City Confidential.

Four of your favorite foods: Beer, crab legs, steer, bacon

Four sites I visit daily: Heh. Only 4? Look at my sidebars....

Thanks, Woody!
I owe you one!!!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

March for Life Display.

This was a display set up at a local church during the March for Life week, to symbolize the number of dead from abortions (146) in our local 4 county area in 2005.
(Click on it for a better view).


Is there a pair of shoes that could have belonged to the next Einstein, or Martin Luther King, or Ronald Reagan? God only knows.

And spare me, "at least they won't be poor or criminals" or "it was the woman's choice" or "they're better off" comments. I will delete them, or worse (you regulars know what I mean).

There will be another post for that discussion.

I ask, no, I demand respect regarding this post. Not too much to ask.
99.99% of my posts are fair game, and 99.99% of comments here stay unaltered and are not deleted.

This one is just for silent reflection.

Comment respectfully if you wish, but be forewarned, I will trash your comments if I don't like them.
And if you wish, say a prayer for these lost (to this world) souls. And one for our country.

Thanks to JimH for the pic.

Links Just for You!!!

Interesting stuff just for you!!!

How to say "F### You" in Russian.

Did you know that Lions and Rotary clubs are tools of the Jooooooos!!??

About danged time: Bush seeks to slash public broadcast funds.
Wouldn't it be nice if "slash" meant "eliminate"!?!?

Cool game - Red Square. Small size. Not in Russia.

Did you know Pelicano worked for the Clintons?
If you read the World Net Daily Article you did: Clinton dirty trickster faces 110-count indictment .
If you read the LA Times, they kind of forgot to mention that: Lawyer to Celebrities Is Subject of Inquiry.
I'll bet if he worked for Bush they wouldn't have forgotton, just like they can never mention Haliburton without Cheney's name...

My Very Own Commercial

They had my number with this commercial in the Superbowl:

Vault Soda: Scarecrow Commercial


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Quintessential 24 Kit.

Hey folks! It's jimmyb here with the official CUG approved 24 viewers accessories kit, from Ronco! This here has all the stuff you'll need to have a quality 24 experience. Yee-haw!
(Click on pictures for a better view of them.)

Starting at the left we have hydration staples, beginning with a bottle of Shiner 96, a nice Marzen style beer. Next to it is a backup Bud. Then, as a backup to the backup, a high-powered cheap beer, for after you're beyond the caring-about-taste point. Always have a backup for safety.
Heh. Watching Jack torture terrorists and traitors works me up a powerful thirst!
(I like beer.)

Additionally, there is a bottle of Merlot, not so much as a backup, but just in case one would want to eat red meat while watching the Jack obliterate terrorists with his cell phone. As an added bonus, this also is a good way to aggravate PETArds. Jack would punch a PETArd in the face, I'm pretty sure.
(I like wine and red meat.)

Below the liquid stress relief kit, we have the remote controls (which need to be heavily guarded) for the A/V stuff, and a bullet-proof vest, just in case Chloe starts indiscriminately spraying automatic weapons fire.
(I like A/V stuff. Chloe is cool, too.)

Moving back to the top, we have a long range Savage .308 with a stainless, fluted barrel, to snipe terrorists and commies that may try to attack your house, or Amurica.
Stoopid Russian-break-away-state terrorists. They're all over the place!!!
Below the Savage, is a backup/close(r) range/entry rifle. It gets a top grade of AR-15 +!
Remember kids, always have a backup (or 3).
(I like long range and entry rifles.)

Of course, there is also fuel for the body as well. Pictured here is some of that aforementioned cooked animal flesh from a murdered steer, which is combined in nice compact, portable package called a "hamburger" (for some Germanic reason).
This is commonly called knuckle-dragging-ignoramus food in Kalifornia hippy-lib circles.
Jack Bauer kills animals and eats them on a regular basis. He laughs when he does it.

And of course, no show would be complete without popcorn!! Yay!
(I like chow!)

Coming next to the sidearms, the primary choice here is a scoped Colt .45 ACP.
For a backup, the classic 686 Smith and Wesson .357 Magnum in stainless is a handy little number. The backup to the backup is a Berretta A21 in .22 LR.
I would let Jack Bauer borrow a backup, since he seems to only have one gun, that he must give up (for a little while) to terrorists holding hostages.
(I like side-arms!)

If you don't have a backup to the backup to the backup, you likely live on the coast or in Canada.
Sorry about that.
Also note, weapons power is commensurate with the danger different threats pose to our country.

For example:
Small weapons = for wiping out terrorists (somewhat dangerous).

Medium weapons = for toasting hippies, marxists, and dirty-commie college professors (mucho dangerous).

Big weapons = for totally smiting rabidly leftwing Dems, Hollywood hate-filled whiners, and rich communist asshats like Moore and Soros. (Super-hyper-OMG dangerous!!! Run! The end of the country will come at their hate-filled, bloody, hypocritical hands!!! AAAAAHHHGGGGG!!!!!!).

Also, due to the increased danger of an influx of liberals from Canada moving to the now more (relatively speaking) liberal US, thanks to the Conservative win up there, the Canukismiter is on full alert at a DefCon 2 level! (Of course, Jack Bauer loves dogs. Especially ones that bite hippies.)

Evil-doers take note:
If Jack doesn't get you, the Conservative UAW Hound will!
Traitors beware....

Disclaimer: Some of you may have noticed that some of the items in the first picture of this post should never be mixed.

You are correct.
Never mix firearms and popcorn; as an unpopped corn kernal could jam the action, rendering the firearm temporarily inoperable.
Lubricate the action with beer if it is an emergency.
Just make sure to clean it immediatly after smiting.
This has been a public service message from the Conservative UAW Guy and Blogs 4 Bauer.
Bonus points if you know where the "I like..." bit comes from.
Cross-posted on Blogs 4 Bauer.

Copyright CUG/Halichimpy/BloodforOil Industries, 2006 on up.

Movin' On Up!

in the GOP and the City famous weekly "Weekend Caption Contest", that is!

This week, I took third place. Slowly moving up from 9 or 10, to 5th, to now 3rd.
I expect a big crash and burn next week! So look for my downfall!!

Of course, thanks to The Man, at GOP and the City, for this high honor.
Also, check him out (and myself, occasionally!) at the super-fantastic 24 site, Blogs 4 Bauer!

Monday, February 06, 2006

It's Over...

Well, the Best So Far Blog Awards are over and the results are in at Bloggin' Outloud.
Yours truly, after a grueling battle with Dr. Phat Tony, managed to take respectable 2nd and 3rd places in the "Best Humor" and "Best Personal" blog categories (respectively).

Dr. Phat Tony and I were so intent on smiting each other that we didn't particularly notice that blogger Lazy Daisy was beating us in the "Best Humor Blog" category, and ultimately took first place.

In the true fashion of the Democratic Party, I lay the blame for my loss squarely at the feet of George W. Bush, Dr. Phat Tony, global warming, and the Republican Party/Haliburton Industrial NeoCon Death/Weather/Soft-Serve-Ice-Cream Machine.

Because of this whole sordid situation, I have decided to post some
Filthy Lies About Lazy Daisy

1. You probably noticed that there was a lot of problems with Blogger last week.
Blogger is where the contest was, where my site is, and where Dr. Phat Tony's site is.
Lazy Daisy is NOT ON BLOGGER!!!!
Co-inkydink? I think not.

2. Her site wouldn't be so funny, except her website exudes LSD molecules through evil little snowflakes which subsequently seep into the bloodstreams of hapless readers.

3. Remember "Cop Rock"? Yep. LD is to blame.

4. Lazy Daisy is neither "lazy" nor a "daisy", but is actually a highly motivated and hard-working blue agave cactus!!!

Thanks to all who voted for me, and for those of you who didn't, screw you, and may a pox befall your house!!! perhaps I can persuade you to vote for me next time by being a better person and a better writer! :)

Also, thanks to Dr. Phat Tony who made me laugh, and inspired me to evermore insanity.

And finally, does anyone know where I can buy some plant killer? Uh, for my garden. Errr, email me.

Final Results -

Best Personal Blog:
1, Sharp Shooters (aka SYLGF now with more Wyatt!!!) (112)
2. Trying to Catch Up (94)
3. Conservative UAW Guy (61)

Best Humor Blog:
1. Lazy Daisy Log (103)
2. The Conservative UAW Guy (96)
3. Dr. Phat Tony (84)

Best Political Blog (All of these are great, BTW. CUG):
Peakah's Provocations (24)
InsoluBlog (19)
Liberty Just In Case (18)

(Plus there are 3 other categories, go check out Bloggin' Outloud to see them!)

Friday, February 03, 2006


If jimmyb loses the Best So Far Awards, the terrorist win!!!

Go vote NOW!! At the Best So Far Awards!!!

Teach those dang terrorists a lesson!!!

Free Energy Independence!!! Save the Planet!!!

Tired of high energy costs?!?!?!

If you vote for me in the Best So Far Awards at Bloggin' Outloud, and I win , I promise I will solve the US energy crisis by burning hippies in an efficient manner.

Usually, when someone lights a hippy on fire, the energy produced goes to waste, but under my plan, we'll use it fo fuel the country and reduce our dependance on oil from murdering, despotic, human rights abusing, mysoginistic, homophobic, terrorist funding regimes oil-producing middle-eastern governments. These are the same countries that Doctor Phat Tony recieves campaign funds from, and he is known to drink beer with these people quite often.

Foreign beer...

Now, controlled burning of hippies takes away some of the glee and spontenaity of igniting a hippy on a whim, but it is good for the country.
Some may say, "But CUG!! Won't burning hippies stink, and pollute the environment?"
To which I say:
Yes, hippies smell. And burning them, while making them smell a little better, does not change the fact that the process still stinks.

However, with GW's Clear Skies Initiative, we will use money from evil, incredibly wealthy, baby-duck stomping, traitorous-regime funding doctors to install hippy-stench scrubbers on all tard-fueled generating plants. This will keep the neighbors, and the envirotards, happy.
Of course, most of the envirotards will be fuel anyway, but at least the neighbors will be happy.

I'll start with Sheehan, Chomskey, Moore, and Churchill as the first fuel-tools.
Moore should produce enough fuel to last until spring all on his own!!!

I'm sure Dr. Phat Tony and the ACLU will try to stop me, nay us!!!
But with your help, we shall overcome.
So hurry!!! Go vote for me at the Best So Far Awards at Bloggin' Outloud!!!
Save our country!
And the world!!! Vote for ME!!

Peace out, yo.

This Is No (C)BS.

The gloves have to come off in the Best So Far Awards at Bloggin' Outloud.

As much as I hate to spread dirt about "people", I feel it is my civic and moral duty to inform the public about the REAL Dr. Phat Tony, due to the fact he is whooping my a## in the aforementioned Best So Far contest (go vote for me!!).
Below you will find a document I obtained from CBS News and Dan Rather.

It is a voting ballot from the great state of Alabama that the Doc turned in to the official "Bama Votin' Elecshun Folk". Proof of his unmitigated evil!!!

Now regarding CBS and Mr. Rather, I know, you're thinking "Why the hell would I believe those lying asshats?" to yourself, but, this document has been vetted.
I work at GM and I saw a Corvette once, so that counts.

This document may not even be real at all, but we feel it is accurate nonetheless, and are standing by it. "Fake but accurate" is now an accepted journalistic tool for propaganda, and certainly meets the low standards of integrity dispayed the MSM. That's good enough for me!

Now here are the facts:

10. Dr. Phat Tony is a Satan worshipper, practices coven witchcraft, dumps oil in streams, sweats DDT and is a big meany, too.

9. DPT once saved a kid from drowning; that kid grew up to be Hitler.

8. DPT pu tthe local dairy he lived by out of business, because the milk curdled - INSIDE THE COW!

7. DPT Is the reason MS Software integrates so well - because he asked for it and Satan willed it.

6. DPT stomped on a baby duck once, just for spite. Then ate the goo while laughing maniacally.

5. DPT is the one that turned Glenn Reynolds on to puppy shakes!!!

4. Eats human flesh (but in his defense, only on pagan holidays).

3.Once had relations with Sarah Brady...

and Cindy Sheehan...

and Nancy Pelosi...


2. DPT can write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a pin....INSIDE A PENATGRAM!

1. Hates children, kittens, puppies, Ronald Reagan and baby seals.
(He also owns every Michael Moore movie made.)

So remember, only you can prevent Dr. Phat Tony from enslaving the planet!

Go vote at the Bloggin' Outloud Best So Far Awards!!!
Hurry! Your life may depend on it!

Rember, every time you vote for jimmyb, an angel smiles! :)

Thursday, February 02, 2006


That's right, I said Vote Or Tie!!
(I was going to say Vote or Die, but I'm non-violent.)

That's right! If you don't vote for me, in the Best So Far contest I'm going to give you a REALLY, REALLY UGLY tie for Christmas AND your birthday. It will be cheap, tacky, and cheesy!!! Probably from the Good Will store.

HA! Quake and tremble at that thought!
I'll buy it for you even if you're a girl!!!

You need to EMAIL YOUR VOTES to BestSoFar@RightThinking.net , so go.

Your "humble" host is up for the Best Personal Blog, as well as the Best Humor Blog.

Your vote is appreciated! :)

So go vote!

Things That Make You Go AAHHHHHGGGGG!

...like when your recoil buffer in your otherwise totally sweet Colt Gold Cup National Match 45 disinegrates inside your slide during a rapid-fire match.
The freakin' slide locks.
Then you're screwed.
You get 12 points out of 100 possible points for the match (which is bad!).
Expletives occured.

AAHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!!! (Among other things...)

The kicker: I ordered some of these two days before the match. They'll probably be here today.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Woo-Hoo!! 5th Place!!

At GOP and the City's funny and famous, Weekend Caption Contest!

Go scope them out. Remember, The Man is a co-contributer to the now-famous, Blogs 4 Bauer, too!

The Times, They Are A-Changin'

Alito Confirmed

Oh my! Where will the liberals move now? Canada's out, because of the evil conservative election fascist takeover there.
I suggest China, as their governmental model seems to most closely jive with the liberal mindset. They're about as good on human rights, too...

It's a dang shame too. Getting a guy in there that will follow what the Constitution says.
That bastard!!!! How dare he uphold the Constitution of The United States of Amurka, when there's a socialist agenda at stake! (/sarcasm)

Here's a few things you'll be seeing coming out of the new Supreme Court over the next few years -

Unconstitutional: Gun Registration.
Constitutional: Uterus Registration.

Unconstitutional: Needles for junkies
Constitutional: Blood for oil.

Unconstitutional: Murdering the unborn.
Constitutional: Murdering commies, hippies and poor people.

Unconstitutional: Immigration.
Constitutional: Outtigration

Unconstitutional: Outlawing the 10 Commandments.
Constitutional: Outlawing CBS and DU.

Unconstitutional: The ACLU.
Constitutional: Haliburton.

Unconstitutional: Flag burning amendment.
Constitutional: DUmbass burning amendment. (That's when you say to a KOSsack or DUmmy, "Buuuuuuuuuurrrrrrn!!!")

Unconstitutional: Al "I am not a bloviating, robotic psychopath, no really, I'm not" Gore being president.
Constitutional: George W. Bush being president (Oh, wait! They already did that one!!!)

Unconstitutional: Dirty dancing.
Constitutional: Little-kid goofy-dancing.

Unconstitutional: Hybrid-car ownership (due to the new "that's totally gay" clause recently found in the Constitution).
Constitutional: Unregistered machine-gun and tank ownership.

Unconstitutional: Confiscating properties for big business (which the LIBERALS on the court voted FOR!).
Constitutional: Confiscating properties for the Catholic Church.

Unconstitutional: Methadone clinics.
Constitutional: Sacramental wine clinics.

Unconstitutional: McCain-Feingold.
EXTREMELY Constitutional: The Conservative UAW Guy and his website, WHICH YOU NEED TO GO VOTE FOR!!!!
RIGHT HERE: Vote for me, jimmyb, the CUG, cause I'm a helluva nice guy, and I'm personal friends with Sammy "The Shark" Alito, and Anthony "Fat Tony" Scalia.

After you vote for me, please go buy some bacon and a machine-gun.

(Heh. You'll probably see many of these repeated at KOS, DU, and Ted Kennedy websites.)