Friday, February 03, 2006

This Is No (C)BS.

The gloves have to come off in the Best So Far Awards at Bloggin' Outloud.

As much as I hate to spread dirt about "people", I feel it is my civic and moral duty to inform the public about the REAL Dr. Phat Tony, due to the fact he is whooping my a## in the aforementioned Best So Far contest (go vote for me!!).
Below you will find a document I obtained from CBS News and Dan Rather.

It is a voting ballot from the great state of Alabama that the Doc turned in to the official "Bama Votin' Elecshun Folk". Proof of his unmitigated evil!!!

Now regarding CBS and Mr. Rather, I know, you're thinking "Why the hell would I believe those lying asshats?" to yourself, but, this document has been vetted.
I work at GM and I saw a Corvette once, so that counts.

This document may not even be real at all, but we feel it is accurate nonetheless, and are standing by it. "Fake but accurate" is now an accepted journalistic tool for propaganda, and certainly meets the low standards of integrity dispayed the MSM. That's good enough for me!

Now here are the facts:

10. Dr. Phat Tony is a Satan worshipper, practices coven witchcraft, dumps oil in streams, sweats DDT and is a big meany, too.

9. DPT once saved a kid from drowning; that kid grew up to be Hitler.

8. DPT pu tthe local dairy he lived by out of business, because the milk curdled - INSIDE THE COW!

7. DPT Is the reason MS Software integrates so well - because he asked for it and Satan willed it.

6. DPT stomped on a baby duck once, just for spite. Then ate the goo while laughing maniacally.

5. DPT is the one that turned Glenn Reynolds on to puppy shakes!!!

4. Eats human flesh (but in his defense, only on pagan holidays).

3.Once had relations with Sarah Brady...

and Cindy Sheehan...

and Nancy Pelosi...


2. DPT can write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a pin....INSIDE A PENATGRAM!

1. Hates children, kittens, puppies, Ronald Reagan and baby seals.
(He also owns every Michael Moore movie made.)

So remember, only you can prevent Dr. Phat Tony from enslaving the planet!

Go vote at the Bloggin' Outloud Best So Far Awards!!!
Hurry! Your life may depend on it!

Rember, every time you vote for jimmyb, an angel smiles! :)

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