Saturday, December 30, 2006

Cause Dems are for the Little Guys.

Thanks for reminding me.
Thank goodness we have a pro-union, down-home, anti-illegal, modest-means person in charge here!
You go, Nancy!

Go here to buy a ticket (at $1K a shot).

Don't look for me there, however.


Saddam's present body temperature is now:

Local Ambient Atmospheric Temperature

No changes regarding this stat in the foreseeable future.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Non(?)-Lethal Deterrent

If you're too squeamish or retarded or lazy or unmotivated or scared or apathetic to own a firearm for home-defense, I may have an alternative for you.

I found an old wife beater shirt in my dresser and decided to try it on.
It's about two sizes too small, and thus, partially see-through due to stretching to fit my form.

I took a looksy in the mirror and...
Good Lord! Is that the beginning of man-boobs?!?!?!!?!?


I will be selling photos, suitable for posting on your doors, for $200 apiece. This is quite a bargain when considering the rate cut your insurance company will give you on theft insurance.

Your pit-bull has nothing on me...

Thursday, December 28, 2006

To Quote Homer....

(Click on 'toon to enhugen)

To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny because it's true."

To quote Vox Day (in the same vein):

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

American Christians have long been the beneficiaries of a cheap and easy grace. There has been little cost to claiming the name of Jesus Christ and even less hindrance to our worship; as a result, we possess a weak and tenuous allegiance to the very faith which defines us. Today, even our greatest church leaders are corrupted by dreams of secular power when they aren't openly fallen into sin, speaking blatant lies as readily as the evil rulers with whom they consort.

This Christmas, remember that Jesus Christ did not promise us an easy way, but a hard and rocky one. He did not promise that we would be loved and admired, but that we would know hatred and scorn. He did not instruct us to seek the approval of the world, but to stand firm to the end.

The War on Christmas will continue, as will the War on Christians, until eventually it expands to encompass what was once a Christian nation. But there is nothing to fear, be of good cheer, for the War on Jesus Christ has already been fought and won by Him whose birth we celebrate today.

Merry Christmas, every one.

Merry Christmas, indeed.
I've wondered more than once if I would deny my Savior if I lived in a place that executed and imprisoned Christians.
Am I willing to die for what I believe in? Maybe. But that is easy to say, isn't it?
I am ashamed to say that I very well might deny. On the outside, anyway.
But maybe Jesus would understand.
I'm not sure.

If I'm going to die for what I believe in, will I get a quick death or a slow one out of the deal?
Call me lame, but that is an important factor to me!

Go read Vox's whole article for examples of this war. It is rather sobering.
His previous one: The War They Can't Win is well worth reading as well.

Monday, December 25, 2006

what is christmas about?

This is a repost of last years Christmas post, with the addition of the actual video, instead of just the text. I couldn't say it well last year, or any better this year.

Charlie Brown: [shouting in desperation] Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?

Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please.

[a spotlight shines on Linus]

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night.
And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'".

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!
Out of the mouths of (cartoon) babes.
I think Linus (quoting Luke, of course) kind of said it all, don't you?

I miss the days when this wasn't offensive!

Merry Christmas to all of you, and may the Lord bless you on this, and all days.
Thanks, as always, for stopping by and may your new year be blessed, happy and productive!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Whatever Could It Be?

There is a long box under the tree.

Whatever could it be?

Fluorescent lamps for my kitchen lighting fixtures?
A stuffed boa constrictor?
A pre-assembled 2-piece cue stick?
A life-sized casting of my............... arm?
A baby giraffe neck?
A mop?
A long list of broken promises and failed visions of the Left?

Man! I just don't know.

And I can hardly wait...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Jawbone of an Ass.

I've been out for a while, and I apologize.
Between finals, and my medical crap, I've barely even checked my email, much less blogged.

I grind my teeth at night. In the above pic, the very pronounced chopper second from the right in jawbone is a titanium implant and ceramic crown I got a few years ago.
(Wear your night-guard kids!)
The mirror image tooth (2nd from the left, bottom) is in the same process. This is the process (the second time around is different only in the level of agony).

Grind your teeth so hard one of them cracks.
Bacteria gets in crack and causes infection.
Infection goes unnoticed until there is discomfort.
Call dentist about discomfort.
By the time you get to the dentist, the sensation has gone from discomfort to something a little less than excruciating, but more than intense, pain.
Have dentist tell you that tooth is toast, and needs to be pulled, but they don't do that here.
He advises that you need to be on antibiotics for a few days anyway, before tooth is pulled.
Gives referral to maxiofacial ghoul.

Fun Tooth Trivia!! - When a tooth is abscessed, and the infection is all around the root, anesthetic doesn't hardly work on it at all!!

Take antibiotics for about three days. In the interim, catch the projectile-vomiting, facial-blood-vessel bursting flu bug that's been going around, and end up with a tooth/jaw/neck/back/head ache plus fever.
Then, finally, go to maxiofacial surgeon.
I'm not sure if I'll recommend the dude I went to.
I think it was this guy:

The guy about kills me with the anesthetic injections, and slips with one that I'm pretty damn sure goes through my mouth, into my neck muscles. He mutters I have a tough tendon.
The injections are VERY painful.
This is odd, as the last time I had this done, a kindly old gent did it with minimal discomfort, as I recall. This older guy, sadly, is retired BTW.

So DeSade goes to pull the tooth. I tell him stuff isn't numb, as I felt pain from the air wand the assistant used to blow off the tooth and area.

Classic stupid question from Dr. Mengele: "Are you sure?" ("Is it safe?")
The guy is about to rip part of my body from me with steel tools, so I forgo my typical witty repartee, and tell him that, yes, I am pretty sure.

More local anesthetic. This time just uncomfortable, not grunt eliciting.

Remember the Fun Tooth Trivia above? It's true.
Holy Mother of God is it true. And then some.

So Szell starts pulling, while muttering a question about something being "safe".

I actually yell. Out loud. Very atypical.
It hurts down into my socks.
The freakin' floor hurts.
This guy (below) would have been proud.
(Your pain will be legendary....)

So the doc says:
"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.
There is a secret song at the center of the world, jimmyb, and its sound is like razors through flesh."
Wait a sec.
Actually what Corbin says (in response to my school-girl-like cries) "Are you just feeling pressure, or is it actual pain?"
As I glare at him - while I am sweating, quivering, panting and turning ashen - I say, "eh hoots" (rhymes with toots).
Another worthless shot of local anesthetic follows.

Which translates roughly to "OMG! WTF!! OWWWWW!!!"
(Apparently, tooth #30 is attached to ones testicles as well as the eye sockets.)

Doc: Ok. Ok. Don't worry, it's done now. (Yanks again.)
(That lying SOB.)

Finally, after 6 days, 6 hours, and 6 minutes, it is out.
(Perhaps it just felt that long.)
I have not passed out.
I am close, however.
I'm in shock a little, and trying not to vomit.
I succeed.

Now I will have to go through the process and non-covered expense of another titanium implant and crown.

Mmmmmm...titanium.... Made out of the same material as the coating on this Desert Eagle, which hopefully someone will buy for me out of sympathy! :)

I mean, I'm still in pain ya know....

And I'm still in true form, as I can apparently work a firearm angle and bleg into a tooth story!!!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ohio Slated to Die in 89 Days!!

It's over folks. We're all gonna die!!!
This time it's for real, not like the last time we were going to die when concealed carry originally got passed.

The Ohio Senate (after the House, last week) vetoed the (self) esteemed, convicted criminal Bob Taft's veto of HB347. This is the first time in a governor's veto has been overridden since 1977.

*in best Nelson voice* Ha Ha!

Ohio HB347 addressed several provisions of the relatively new concealed carry law in Ohio, and clarified some issues about carrying in a vehicle.

But here's the kicker. Heh.

Sec. 9.68. (A) The individual right to keep and bear arms, being a fundamental individual right that predates the United States Constitution and Ohio Constitution, and being a constitutionally protected right in every part of Ohio, the general assembly finds the need to provide uniform laws throughout the state regulating the ownership, possession, purchase, other acquisition, transport, storage, carrying, sale, or other transfer of firearms, their components, and their ammunition. Except as specifically provided by the United States Constitution, Ohio Constitution, state law, or federal law, a person, without further license, permission, restriction, delay, or process, may own, possess, purchase, sell, transfer, transport, store, or keep any firearm, part of a firearm, its components, and its ammunition.
What this means is the unconstitutional (Ohio and US constitutions) additional restrictions that many (actually most) big cities in Ohio put on people's ability to keep and bear arms will be null and void in 89 days.

The racist "Saturday Night Special" and retarded "assault weapons" bans are going out the door. Of course, their will be well-funded leftists trying to use every legal trick in the book to quash this, so we'll see what happens.

Does anyone actually believe that criminals will now go buy firearms that they wouldn't have before, just because the law has changed?

I didn't think so.

Monday, December 11, 2006

The Cure

I have found a cure for a horrible, previously untreatable condition.

You can thank me by emailing me and sending me cash.
I figure I will probably be up for a Nobel prize.

Condition: ABBA's song Dancing Queen is stuck in your head.

Treament: This video, Wrathchild (by Iron Maiden), with original singer Paul Di'Anno.

Works every time.

To mankind: You're welcome.

Gwenyth is a Stupid, Spoiled B***ch.

Woops! Did I type that out loud?

Gwyneth Paltrow Hates America
"I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner," she told "NS," the weekend magazine supplement of daily Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias on Saturday.

"I like living here because I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans," the 34-year-old added.

Which makes this headline about the Polonium-210 spy poisoning all the more curious:

Polonium Restaurant' sees business improve in poisoning aftermath

Hmmmm. That doesn't seem that terribly wise, but then, I'm not British.
Of course, an American-hating Liberal's definition of more intelligent is fluid, I'm sure.
You gotta love it when people who have reaped more rewards than most could ever possibly dream of, decry the very system that enabled them to reap those rewards. Not.

A product of wealth and privilege from the day she was born.
I'm sure the only thing she likes about commoners is their money.
She hasn't gotten any of mine for a long time.

Good for you, Gwen. Stay the hell over there, and never again gain anything from our people or our system.
I guess we all knew you were a hypocrite when you spouted off all your tree-huggy crap and drove around in your SUV.

Please don't come back. We'll manage.

In other news:

L.I. Taco Bells Close For Decontamination
Number Of Confirmed Cases In N.Y., N.J. Reach 39
Source Of Bacteria Undetermined, Food Sent To Labs

(CBS/AP) NEW YORK An outbreak of E-coli bacteria has sickened more than a dozen people on Long Island, including several who ate at Taco Bell. Officials have asked eight Taco Bell restaurants be closed.

Maybe they should change their catch-phrase to "Run for the Shi**er.
Anybody want to chip in and send Gwenyth a burrito or two?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Is It Possible?

Q: Is it possible for Oleg Volk to be any cooler or more profound?

A: While technically possible, it is highly unlikely.


Many of us will never be subjects, and politicians and anti-rights groups would do well to remember that. If you want citizens, you are in the right place; if you desire subjects, you would be wise to go elsewhere.

As always, thanks to Oleg Volk, of A Human Right, for the great picture, and the great sentiment.

Friday, December 08, 2006

France 24: Commie Du Jour

So, the Frogs are going on-air with an international news station:
Jacques Chirac's dream of a global TV news network á la française, to counter Anglo-Saxon global media dominance, becomes reality tonight as France launches a bilingual 24-hour news service.
Those dang Anglo-Saxons! (Does that mean "Jooooooos!"?)

Of course, being the superior news network you have come to expect, C-U-G Headline News has uncovered mucho information about the new "all frogs all the time" network (France 24).

Here we have a picture of the station's new transmitter tower, surreptitiously taken by ace reporter, American patriot, and gun nut, jimmyb:

Additionally, here is a leaked memo containing possible French News Tag-Lines:

Like MSNBC, only smellier.

Watch us! We hate America almost as much at the American MSN and universities!!

All the Leftism that's fit to air.

Now with more condescension and snooty looks!

Don't hit us, we give!

If you can find news reports that sound any gayer, watch them.

We can hire Melissa Theuriau, and you can't.

After some intense research, we have uncovered these Fun Facts about France 24:

It smokes.

John Kerry, a major shareholder, will christen France 24 by breaking a bottle of over-rated, over-priced wine on it. He will then slander American troops.
(Go to college kids or you'll end up dead on a beach in Normandy!)

The resulting crash of glass will send 3/4 of the population running.
Alert level: Cower (sniveling optional).

It's called France 24 because the French government is hoping to steal some ratings from curious "24" fans. Jack Bauer will probably punch them in the face later.

There are plans for a new French alternative life-style show called "Cheesy-Poofs".

It has a competitively priced subscription fee, and is totally free for Germans and angry Muslims.

A plan is already in place to appease, and then surrender to, the al-Jazeer Network.

It has a little white flag waving in the bottom left-hand corner.

AccuFire 3000 Doppler Unrest-Radar - Gives hourly updates for the latest information on burning cars and buildings, as well as up-to-the-minute info on roving gangs of rioting Muslim youths.

The Sharia Hour of Power Show!

Guest op-eds by Pepe LePew. (Heh. Le cool.)

First week: 20 minute op-ed piece on why soap control/registration is imperative to national safety. (Of course, we all know this will lead to soap confiscation over there...)

Coming attractions:
30 week series on pre-emptive surrendering.
30 minute true French crime show with Inspector Cleuseau.
30 second show on French military victories.
3 second show on how to be polite.
0.3 second show on bathing.

Look for the new show France's Most Wanted: Featuring John Kerry and Jerry Lewis.

When signing off, instead of waving goodbye with one hand like the stupid Americans, they will sign off by raising both hands. Very high, and very slowly...

Looks like a win-win, folks.
I hope this report was insightful for you.
Just doing my part to culturefy the masses.
I feel so Euro now.

Diversitudiness, thy name is CUG.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Never Forget

In memory of those who lost their lives, and those who fought on for them - then - and in the years to come.

Never forget.

Whoops! Too late.


And of course:
"America must understand that with anti-American governments in Latin America and with Islam growing and reinforcing, including in the U.S. itself, the next step would be a total defeat on their (American) land, not a relative one like they are facing in Iraq," he [Abu Ayman] said.

"The report proves that this is the era of Islam and of jihad," said Abu Ayman, a senior leader of Islamic Jihad in the northern West Bank town of Jenin.
Perhaps it does, Abu.
Perhaps it does...


I listen to a Cincinnati radio station while driving to work.

The Kentucky Lottery has a commercial based on the 12 Days of Christmas.
But they changed the words to (something like) "On the first day of the holiday, my true love gave to me...".

We've come far, haven't we? It doesn't even make me angry, anymore.
Just sad.

Merry Christmas.
(Hope that didn't offend you.)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Traitors All?

Congress open to passing bill on immigration

Congress will approve an immigration bill that will grant citizenship rights to most of the 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens in the U.S. after Democrats take control next month, predict both sides on Capitol Hill.

What is with politicians wanting to legalize illegal behavior?
Precedent and incentives are not gifts to be traded against the wishes of, and at the expense of, the electorate.
People do NOT want amnesty for illegals. It is unfair, and dangerous to the country.
Very few on either side of the aisle seem to recognize this.
The President doesn't seem to understand this either.

Democrats in both chambers say they will start with some form of legislation first drafted by Sens. John McCain, Arizona Republican, and Edward M. Kennedy...
Good Lord.
Between this and the NAFTA SuperCorridor/North America Union, I don't know if I should quit voting, or just move.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Another Day at the Circus

Woman Sentenced for Condom Explosives

BOSTON -- A former strip club waitress was sentenced Wednesday to five years of supervised release after she pleaded guilty to mailing threatening letters and flammable material, including condoms filled with a potentially explosive mixture, court documents said.
Rumor has it the police were going to force every one to leave all of the buildings involved, but then changed their minds.

They didn't want to be accused of having a premature evacuation.