Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Teh Swimmer Finally Goes Up the Creek

Sans paddle, of course.

POOR TASTE ALERT!! Read at you own risk.

Results and observations regarding the passing of Ted “The Swimmer” Kennedy:

Parents with young daughters are sleeping a little better

Gun owners are sleeping a little better now.

There is a consensus amongst scientists that global warming will decrease as the Swimmer’s mass dissipates, and lessens the gravitational field of the planet, thereby sucking in less light (and thus energy) from the sun and stars.

Hell will weight eleventy-jillion more pounds. (Or 4.989516ty-jillion more kilograms for you Euro-weenies).

The Secret Service announced that Michael Moore and Rosie O'donnel will NOT be allowed to attend the services, as NASA has calculated an overwhelming probablility that their combined gravitational fields would cause a singularity.

There is one less bloviating, statist, Big Brotherish, CFR loving, commie rat on the planet. Just a few more billion to go.

There is one less bloviating two-faced, expedient, rabid-pro-abortionite and bloody-handed lawyer on the planet:

"While the deep concern of a woman bearing an unwanted child merits consideration and sympathy, it is my personal feeling that the legalization of abortion on demand is not in accordance with the value which our civilization places on human life. Wanted or unwanted, I believe that human life, even at its earliest stages, has certain rights which must be recognizedthe right to be born, the right to love, the right to grow old. (Fats Kennedy, back in the day, possibly before he sold his soul)

Way to hold your ground, killer. You became the poster-boy for beta-male feminazis and baby-killers.

The State of Massachusetts’ IQ average just went up 7 points.

The whiskey industry will now require a bailout, due to an unprecedented and abrupt reduction in demand.

The Twinkie and pork-rind industries may not be far behind.

Rumor has it that in his will Kennedy asked to be buried at sea for two reasons. One, for the ultimate ironic effect, and two so they could blame the massive rise in sea levels on global warming.

Hippies, Commies, Abortionists and Marxists wept.

In closing, I would like to dedicate this Grim Reaper tune to old Teddles. I think this is appropriate because Grim Reaper's lead singer is overweight, like Ted - and Grim Reaper is cheesy, sucks ass, and is a symbol of old-school suckassitudiness, like Ted. Additionally, their careers are now in comparable positions.

Good riddance, douchewad. You are the epitome of all that is wrong and evil in Washington. It's a just a damn shame you couldn't have taken 50 or 60 of your friends with you.

I'll pray for Ted's family, and I'll pray for Ted's soul (really), but I have serious doubts about the effectiveness in doing so (really).

And please spare me your bitching in the comments; this is the toned-down, friendly version of my thoughts; if you didn't come down on Ted Rall, I don't want to hear it.


Methinks She Doth Protest Just About Right

The fair Melody Byrne (of Chris and Melody's The Anarchangel site) hits one out of the park.

Read it, enjoy it, and make their site a frequent visit.

She sure sounds like a 3 Percenter to me...

A couple excerpts:

Leave Us the Hell Alone
by Melody Byrne

No wonder I feel trapped. I can't do a single thing with my own property that doesn't involve one government agency or another (or several). I feel like a rat being funneled through a maze, and I am cognizant of the danger that someone will block off the exit. It's my claustrophobia writ large. This is just wrong.


Well I have a message for all you busybodies, bureaucrats, rent-seekers, and whored-out legislators.LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE.Get out of my contracts.Get off of my land.Leave my property alone.Stay the hell out of my bedroom.Most of all, KEEP YOUR NOSES OUT OF MY BUSINESS.And everyone else's for that matter.Mel

Give 'em hell, Mel!

Go read the whole thing. It's well done, well worth your time, and quite enjoyable.


Monday, August 17, 2009

Something to Ponder

"When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law."- Frederic Bastiat

As the leviathan that our government has become insinuates itself into every single aspect of our lives, we need to decide where we draw the line.

Where is your line?